I don't want people thinking i've quit.

Discussion in 'Social Hub' started by Shadowprophet, Sep 19, 2017.

  1. Shadowprophet

    Shadowprophet Truthiness

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    3,757
    I know, I don't speak a lot anymore. I know a great many people would prefer it if I did. But, The truth is, I've been doing this for a really really long time, I just need a break. With working on my Youtube channel, And then All the effort I put into AH. my whole life has been about maintaining other peoples expectations of me.

    All I want to do is play video games with my stepdaughters And walk my dogs and enjoy life. It won't always be this way. But for so long I've been blowing people minds, I'm at a stage now where I just want to binge watch things on Netflix and let my family know how much I love them. My whole online life has been this ongoing campaign, Forums, Twitter. Youtube, reddit. And everywhere I go people want to talk more and more. But I've been taking for so long, I just want to listen now. How can anyone ever become more than what they are if they are always talking, and never listening, I've created communities I've grown communities, I've run communities so well that the original owners simply couldn't stand the fact that they could not control me.

    There is an old saying. Popularity kills. And This whole thing where people think I'm so smart maybe there is truth to it. But at the same time, There is pressure for Shadowprophet to live up to some image, it's just tiresome. I just want to be a normal person. Someone who is allowed to be wrong, someone who can be mistaken, Someone who can even troll and argue with people.

    So yeah. I've not been talking, hoping maybe I would be forgotten. And the day would eventually come that I could enter the forums and just be some random guy that could have real conversations with others. and even argue and possibly dare I dream, Troll people. I miss being me. That's something I haven't gotten to do in a really really long time.
     
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  2. Shadowprophet

    Shadowprophet Truthiness

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    3,757
    I just wanna fade to black and get some rest for a while. Maybe recharge the batteries. I'm just so tired of the grind.
     
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  3. August

    August Metanoia

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    6,030

    See you soon Shadow have a nice break. :)
     
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  4. Shadowprophet

    Shadowprophet Truthiness

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    3,757
    It's good to see you around August. I kept asking Q whatever happened to you, He swore he had no idea. I waited like a year for you and Castle bravo to come back. So I'm really glad to see you guys. And Yeah. I will be back, I just need a break from all the social media, Recently, Two very very large youtubers have asked me to collab with them. Top Hat Gaming man, And Geekdom101. These guys are huge. If I did the collabs. It would literally change my life. on both accounts, I passed. I just fell into this. I did youtube as a joke. To see If I could, It's far too much work to ever be fun in any way.
    I guess I've had a breakdown under the pressure. I don't want to walk through a door that someone else opened for me. I want to open my own doors. I know that won't make sense to some.

    I will be just fine. I just need a little rest :)
     
    Last edited: Sep 19, 2017
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  5. August

    August Metanoia

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    6,030
    Yes good also to see you Shadow. After the sinking of AH it seems many have washed ashore here me included. He knew he just didn't want to tell you what happened. I was missing for 9 months. Well I did decide to go back but AH was gone scuttled by Q and all of us our info messages and contacts ect were all thrown over the side into the ocean. I became a AH refugee. Not a nice feeling at all. Best of luck and see you soon. ;)
     
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  6. Kchoo

    Kchoo At Peace.

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    2,370
    I always wondered what made you jump in so deep into all this. I assumed it was more for your own entertainment.

    For what it is worth, I think you are a good thespian, I honestly think you have real talent, a good radio/youtube voice... Why not use those gifts in a way that is satisfying to you, and still balance it with your family time? You can have both...

    But if you have a choice, family time always wins. :)
     
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  7. cosmic joke

    cosmic joke remember to remember

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    271
    'thinking' is over rated methinks. ;)
     
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  8. Sheltie

    Sheltie good to the last drop

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    1,156
    I'm in a similar situation, Shadow. I have a regular day job but I love to paint. I've had space at local galleries in the past. My paintings always sell but I don't make a whole lot of money from it. It's just something I do for my mental well-being.

    My father died about two years ago and there were a lot of issues in my life that needed resolving. I'm going to try to get back into painting again soon but, in the meantime, I really do get tired of all my friends and relatives asking me when I'm going to jump back in. Some of them even chastise me and say it's a God-given talent as if I have some sort of obligation. I know they mean well and are just trying to be supportive. I have a website for my paintings but it hasn't been updated in about 2 years! Like you, I'm really just enjoying the little things in life I didn't have time for in the past.

    Part of the problem is my personality. My Meyers-Briggs type indicator is INFP. INFPs are known for their creativity. Unfortunately, we're also know for being sloppy, disorganized procrastinators. The rudderless ship analogy applies well.

    I hope you will continue to contribute to Alien Expanse on your own terms, whenever the creative spirit hits you and not worry about what others think. :Thumbsup:
     
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  9. Shadowprophet

    Shadowprophet Truthiness

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    3,757
    I understand where you are coming from Sheltie :) It may be one of my character flaws, And I suppose it is. I was with a woman for 12 years. Wasn't happy, I walked out on her. I was with another for six years. Left her too. Life is not a promise. ever since I was a child, I've had heart problems, I've lived every day of my life like it matters. Because we only get to do each day once. Life is too short to do anything other than what completes you the most, Always remember that Sheltie :)
     
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  10. notdej

    notdej Honorable

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    491
    that depends on who's over rating it
     
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  11. nivek

    nivek As Above So Below

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    Did you think of that reply or did it just come to you?...:tongue8:
     
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  12. notdej

    notdej Honorable

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    491
    hmm... let me think:unsure8:
     
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  13. cosmic joke

    cosmic joke remember to remember

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    271
    it's in fact a well thought out statement. :cool8:
     
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  14. Dundee

    Dundee Fading day by day.

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    For my Friend Shadow...

     

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