One small step for Wade one giant leap for Wade-kind

Wade

Stare..... They are always staring
So It's 2 years ago today that I suffered a hemorrhagic stroke and while I can't get excited about it or wish myself a happy anniversary I'm content in the realization that I'm miles ahead of where I was when I woke up on the 29th of December 2016 and found my world forever changed. I should mention that I suffered the stroke on the 11th but the good docs had induced a coma on me and gave my brains a chance to heal itself so I didn't rejoin this mortal coil until the cusp of January 2017. From what I can gather I had visiitors who would talk to me but i remember none of that. I did dream though. I had several dreams that I remember to this day so vivid they were.


And I awoke as I blacked out, with a paralyzed right arm and leg. I will state that I hate that expression, paralyzed. To me a paralysis is the result of a severed spinal cord and even though it's a long uphill road for a spinal cord injury they can achieve some sort of healing. The same goes for loss of function on limbs that were damaged in a stroke even though what the outcome will be is anyone's guess. As for me, even though they didn't want to move initially I knew deep down that it wasn't a done deal and I had a long recovery ahead of me and I haven't given up in that thought but I do have other thoughts that I have to contend with.


To continue, I had also what was referred to as

subluxation shoulder ( a baby dislocated arm ) which finally reset itself after nearly a year, and a trach tube and G tube had been introduced to the picture… .At another time I'll speak on the removal on the G tube which was such an emotional moment for me that i lost it and cried for nearly 45 minutes upon removal ,a personal record for Wade which still stands.


I had a slew of other things I had to contend with but they were of fairly short duration, bumps in the road as it were.


After 2 years I think I have a pretty good summation of my total "damages" and I have to say I came out of it in pretty good fashion. To begin with, my right arm isn't functional at all really but between the spascity and the glenohumeral subluxation that was in my right arm and took about a year to find a home in the socket and having foot drop in the right leg I didn't come out too bad.

I'm a little ashamed in that when I started this journey while still in Santa Monica @ Beachwood Post Acute & Rehab I came across a number of people who suffered strokes but had the appearance of being otherwise o.k. Ashamedly, I thought at the time they were "special needs" patients because of their communication and comprehensive problems I have since come to the conclusion that they have a bad case of Aphasia. This is something that I was alerted to soon after I joined the real world again. Indeed I thought i had issues with a form of this as well,but as my ability to communicate improved and the fog that was always enveloped my thinking dissipated I could soon scratch that off my list

Lastly later this month or early next month I'll be looking at a couple of places for an apartment, I've been in an assisted living establishment for over a year now, and it's time to move on. My docs and I are pretty happy with my advancements, there's a couple of things I need to work on but it looks good. I don't know what in Sam Hill I'll be doing and I'm sure no one's going to be beating a path to my door so the onus is on me to get off my ass and get moving.



As far as my therapy I won't lie, it's very frustrating. I've had a couple periods where I was temporarily "booted" off therapy cause I hit the plateau ( I'm tempted to write a book on how hindering this concept is although it can't be shunted aside) in this instance I blew through my tests but I ran out of my number of allotments for the year ( I'm on medicaid) so I'll just probably wait til the cycle renews itself in February.


...Therapus Interruptus... I'll victor over thou yet.

At this point I'd like to state that I finally seem to have a handle on my deficits that I've got as a result of this stroke and overall it isnt that bad. Although my arm is being a bitch, I can walk (a little) with just a cane for short distances and I certainly didn't ever see that coming although I'll probably be stuck with that dropped foot for some time. But all in all not too bad. Just think it was mid October that I was getting excited about walking without my brace!


As for my comprehensive abilities,mentally i don't know how to describe it. My memory although shaky at best is hanging in there. It's easy to call it a bad memory but that doesn't really describe it . It's true that I have to have my phone with me to jot down notes,phone numbers and such, I will forget in seconds. But it will come back to me without any effort but it could be two hours,two days or two weeks. While brushing my teeth,taking a shower or right in the middle of a gym workout it really is a crapshoot. My doc says it's probably not a memory thing it's more likely a delay in processing the information. It's in there but I guess it's just bouncing all over the place waiting to find a home.

I Have to be a little careful for I since learned that you have to push any negative thoughts to a corner of your brain. The rubblsh corner, the one that went haywire on me that December evening two years ago Because if you allow any negative thoughts to get into your thinking your done for and you might as well be asking Santa for a new electric wheelchair


What's funny about a stroke is due to the complexity of making a prognosis early on (like a snowflake no two strokes are alike) the therapist is careful about making a prognosis, and who can blame them, to a large extent it's in the patient's hands. From the very beginning this should be a patient driven outcome. Can you imagine having the rug gets pulled out from them when at last a little light shines into their lives?




Oh and Saint Nic if you're reading this…..



….I WANT MY ARM BACK
 

pigfarmer

tall, thin, irritable
A little emoticon didn't cut it. Damn, that's something. I just thought I had a few things to gripe over but now see I have absolutely nothing to complain about.

This hit very close to home:
From the very beginning this should be a patient driven outcome

I'd like to say 'well done' but that doesn't seem appropriate - 'some set of balls on that one' does.
 
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