psychology problems
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CasualBystander
Celestial
Getting back on topic. I like to think there is a reason people do things.
The social dynamic is a mother bad mouthing the absent sibling.
This is one of:
1. A long standing social dynamic that evolved.
2. The mother is trying to influence the children indirectly by expressing her disappointments to the other sibling.
3. The mother is trying to influence the children's relationship with her.
4. She is trying to influence the relationship between the siblings.
5. The mother has some other issue that doesn't give her much else to talk about.
The question is what does the mother gain from what she is doing. I favor 2-4.
You have to identify what she is trying to gain (what is her motivation) before the problem can be tackled.
As would be your choice.
Birds of a feather hey?
3FEL9
Islander
Ras
Honorable
Maybe,
Actually she don't like me working in KL.
Shes a very controlling type, the only reason i became a Graphic designer is because i was forced to take the course by her, maybe because its near to her house or that place is near to her friend's house, im not sure why.. if my father is still alive things would have been different, i even got a place in goverment university but she don't allow it because its far.. but she tell people that she gave me the freedom to choose..
The reason im working far and living independently is not that she have gaven me the freedom to do so, she disagreed with it she want me to get a job near, it wasn't a nice farewell, she was angry, i took a train and went away myself, i got some money from the goverment, i used that money till i got my salary.. when i was staying in KL in apartment, she kept talking about me to my brother i dont know why, i've even did called her to stay with me but she refused to but she did came after 2 months later and stayed for a few days.. but now shes starting to accept i think.
Im a free bird now but whatever it is, I still do go back, visit / stay for sometimes..
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3FEL9
Islander
You're independent and bright. Maybe ur mother is a bit jealous of u..
Ras
Honorable
I dont want to judge her, I dont think shes jealous, shes smart and also right sometimes but the reason im going and working far in KL is beacause KL got a lot of good jobs there.
Shes right about staying alone far could be dangerous, difficult and if something were to happen me its going to be hard to reach me fast. But i have to go, that is the only way im going to learn and grow..
Bluelight007
Honorable
Diva, I did not have time to read through all the posts, but I had the same problem with my mom despite the fact she is happily married to my dad. If she could find a soulmate, it would be great. That’s the only solution that I see as a perfect one for the moment
Ras
Honorable
Don't think that will ever happen, if i were her i won't do that too. When a husband pass away, usually the other guy will come for the husband's property not for anything else, most of the single moms here would just stay single. Maybe going with her friends would be good, marriage imo is not good but thats up to her to decide tho.
Ras
Honorable
No im not saying that. I know my mother, i know she wont want that but who knows i could be wrong.
Shadowprophet
Truthiness
With some people, it's a matter of honor. I've been through a lot of relationships. But I'm not a kid anymore. If something were to happen to me and Sam, I know that I am done.
The true reason to this is. Those old sayings. that people need to move on are inaccurate. Not everyone is the same.
To some people, There is a limit to how many times they can love someone in that special marriage way.
Eventually. The heart doesn't want that with anyone else. This is true for a great many people.
The true reason to this is. Those old sayings. that people need to move on are inaccurate. Not everyone is the same.
To some people, There is a limit to how many times they can love someone in that special marriage way.
Eventually. The heart doesn't want that with anyone else. This is true for a great many people.