There is no answer.

Shadowprophet

Shadowprophet

Truthiness
I can't prove to myself that I'm not crazy.

I've shared many parts of my life, From the health issues, To the mistakes I've made, to the people I've lost to the regrets I have. All of those stories are the whole of my life. At this point in my life, I've lost so much. My health is getting worse. Has anyone here ever had a fear that time is not a promised thing and then the panic sets in?

Maybe I really have gone insane. But for me, There is this feeling, that Nothing is promised, and somehow, time is short and fleeting, But our Choices and actions matter, Becuase they affect not only ourselves but others as well. So then, When we act, It's not a self-contained action, Those actions take their toll on others.

So every action that we take, isn't just our own action. Other people play their part in the machinations of most decisions that we make.

Free will may even be an illusion Because you can't fully back away from your footprint on other peoples lives and truly be alone. I feel like however, I spend my time I need to make every second of it count. Maybe it's a midlife or late-life crisis.

Either way, I'm really not myself right now, And I look around and I can't even find the ground. Nothing is solid, Nothing is promised, everything has meaning but there is no solution to anything.

I can't be myself right now. Because I'm not myself. So I run away into the Dark and I don't talk to people.
Even that doesn't work. There are no answers, Just an endless sea of opinions.
 
nivek

nivek

As Above So Below
Shadowprophet said:
Just an endless sea of opinions.
Click to expand...

If that were the case then that means there is an endless sea of options, which means an abundance of choices and that simply does not exist in reality...There has never been an abundance of choices, only the illusion of such, clear your being of these illusions and everything will be right as rain...

...
 
Kchoo

Kchoo

At Peace.
Shadowprophet said:
I can't prove to myself that I'm not crazy.

I've shared many parts of my life, From the health issues, To the mistakes I've made, to the people I've lost to the regrets I have. All of those stories are the whole of my life. At this point in my life, I've lost so much. My health is getting worse. Has anyone here ever had a fear that time is not a promised thing and then the panic sets in?

Maybe I really have gone insane. But for me, There is this feeling, that Nothing is promised, and somehow, time is short and fleeting, But our Choices and actions matter, Becuase they affect not only ourselves but others as well. So then, When we act, It's not a self-contained action, Those actions take their toll on others.

So every action that we take, isn't just our own action. Other people play their part in the machinations of most decisions that we make.

Free will may even be an illusion Because you can't fully back away from your footprint on other peoples lives and truly be alone. I feel like however, I spend my time I need to make every second of it count. Maybe it's a midlife or late-life crisis.

Either way, I'm really not myself right now, And I look around and I can't even find the ground. Nothing is solid, Nothing is promised, everything has meaning but there is no solution to anything.

I can't be myself right now. Because I'm not myself. So I run away into the Dark and I don't talk to people.
Even that doesn't work. There are no answers, Just an endless sea of opinions.
Click to expand...

That IS the answer! What a relief, huh? :):)
 
Shadowprophet

Shadowprophet

Truthiness
I think maybe I'm having panic attacks or something, I'm going to have to talk to my doctor I think.
 
pigfarmer

pigfarmer

tall, thin, irritable
Shadowprophet said:
I think maybe I'm having panic attacks or something, I'm going to have to talk to my doctor I think.
Click to expand...

Dwelling on it in front of a PC won't help. Get up, get out of the house and go do something. Get some exercise and a dose of endorphins. You'll feel better.
 
Kchoo

Kchoo

At Peace.
Well, I am not saying it's a 100% the issue, but...

The Link Between Marijuana Use and Panic and Anxiety | HealthyPlace

The Link Between Marijuana Use and Panic and Anxiety

The most common unpleasant side-effects of occasional marijuana use are anxiety and panic reactions. These effects may be reported by users, and they are a common reason for discontinuation of use; more experienced users may occasionally report these effects after receiving a much larger than usual dose of THC.
 
Ritzy

Ritzy

Super Novice
Kchoo said:
Well, I am not saying it's a 100% the issue, but...

The Link Between Marijuana Use and Panic and Anxiety | HealthyPlace

The Link Between Marijuana Use and Panic and Anxiety

The most common unpleasant side-effects of occasional marijuana use are anxiety and panic reactions. These effects may be reported by users, and they are a common reason for discontinuation of use; more experienced users may occasionally report these effects after receiving a much larger than usual dose of THC.
Click to expand...
Comment ce dit bollocks?

Non psychonauts should probably avoid all psychoactive drugs..
As for psionics like me...more THC please.
 
Kchoo

Kchoo

At Peace.
I think some people resonate with it and some don't. The ones that get panicky probably won't stay with it.
 
Shadowprophet

Shadowprophet

Truthiness
Kchoo said:
What makes a psychonaut? Is it personality, or choice, or what?
Click to expand...
Trust me, brother, weed isn't the issue, The issue is I literally have issues, I've been to doctors for them, people often think if a person is intelligent then they must be mentally healthy, This assumption is based upon nothing. Most usually the more someone has going on in their Mellon, the more mental issues they can possess, and most definitely the easier they can be prone to breakdowns, at least this had held true in my case.
 
Last edited:
nivek

nivek

As Above So Below
Kchoo said:
Well, I am not saying it's a 100% the issue, but...

The Link Between Marijuana Use and Panic and Anxiety | HealthyPlace

The Link Between Marijuana Use and Panic and Anxiety

The most common unpleasant side-effects of occasional marijuana use are anxiety and panic reactions. These effects may be reported by users, and they are a common reason for discontinuation of use; more experienced users may occasionally report these effects after receiving a much larger than usual dose of THC.
Click to expand...

Please do not derail this thread with more of this preaching, we are well aware of your negativity towards marijuana use and users...This is not the topic of this thread either...

...
 
Kchoo

Kchoo

At Peace.
Shadowprophet said:
Trust me, brother, weed isn't the issue, The issue is I literally have issues, I've been to doctors for them, people often think if a person is intelligent then they must be mentally healthy, This assumption is based upon nothing. Most usually the more someone has going on in their Mellon, the more mental issues they can possess, and most definitely the easier they can be prone to breakdowns, at least this had held true in my case.
Click to expand...


Anxiety sucks. I hope you and your doctors find something that helps.
 
coubob

coubob

Celestial
I was looking at the chakra`s the other day, how i ended up there was by the name of that alien that checked into that hotel (A. Bell) a bell in the key of A is the note of the 3rd eye. but anyhow i got to the tailbone chakra, i broke mine as a kid and i thought maybe that's why i`m not so grounded.

When the ground disappears, it leaves us charged with anxiety, which is directly tied to our physical vitality, endurance and mental perseverance. We essentially lose our security, and it can have devastating effects on our mental health and prosperity.
https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-11213/signs-your-grounding-chakra-is-out-of-whack-what-to-do-about-it.html
 
Ritzy

Ritzy

Super Novice
Shadowprophet said:
Trust me, brother, weed isn't the issue, The issue is I literally have issues, I've been to doctors for them, people often think if a person is intelligent then they must be mentally healthy, This assumption is based upon nothing. Most usually the more someone has going on in their Mellon, the more mental issues they can possess, and most definitely the easier they can be prone to breakdowns, at least this had held true in my case.
Click to expand...
I have an understanding of this stuff. I don’t want to get all personal but I have a partner/ not partner/ partner again who deals with hella mental illness and it’s a stressor to me personally. (Not forgetting my own problems eh, etc.) I hope things get better for you. Even if they don’t I hope you still are ok under the circumstances. Do your best and try to feel good whenever possible + try to internally condition yourself away from negative behavior in whatever patterns suit you personally.
I just don’t like it when people feel bad.
 
michael59

michael59

Celestial
I am going through hell right now. Seriously, the last five years have made me feel as tho I must have done something really bad and have something I am supposed to learn from all this shit.

The last three years have been particularly awful and each day keeps getting worse. Two days ago, I wanted to take my self sharpening knife and climb into the bathtub. No matter how much I tried, I could not get that thought out of my head. Today, I'm over it.

Here's the thing, Shadow....you don't even have to get off the couch for drama and misfortune to come your way. Shit happens and life is messy. There is no easy answer that's for sure. And there never will be so don't dwell on it. You just keep soldiering, man. One foot in front of the other.

You are here for a reason, believe it or not. I don't know what it is and I have that same sense of my not being here for much longer either. I don't feel scared or morbid about it. I don't give a shit about living every moment to it's fullest either. All I know is that there is absolutely no evidence that killing myself is going to make anything easier. Might even make things more difficult. So, I won't do it.

I just have to be patient and wait for my purpose to become clear. What else can I do?
 
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