permanent break

Shadowprophet

Truthiness
For literal years, I've struggled with mental issues. I've fought it,

But, I constantly fight between two primary personalities, One is an agreeable ned Flanders sort,
The other is a monstrous domination aggressive win at any cost asshole.
I am neither of these people, I keep telling everyone, I'me leaving for their sake. But it's,
I can't find a middle ground, I can't just be me. I'm extreme in either personality.

When I am the agreeable person, I am so positive, It makes me sick, It makes others sick to view it. When I am the asshole, It makes me sick because inside, I don't mean to make people feel like that.

I close myself off from the world, I am already a hermit that doesn't deal with people, I almost never leave my home. But, As I have mentioned, Things are getting worse.
No longer is this something I am able to fight or control, My mind is getting worse. Other people could say, Well, come back when you are better. That's just it', I'm getting worse, Not better. My thing is, It's not just because I respect other people and don't want to offend them, But that is part of it. It hurts me too, having to lie and cover for myself when I say something that was clearing wrong or offensive and then having to lie about it or make a cover story on Why I defend that position. when that position was a sporadic personality regurgitation that I honestly have no desire to defend myself or my thoughts because I know better than anyone, Nothing I think matters and it's not worth defending because in literally ten minutes I will have changed my feelings about it.


I respect and to some degree care about everyone here. But, The sad truth is, I ultimately I am losing my mind, legitimately. And it comes to a point that I know you guys are willing to forgive me, But at this same time it's embarrassing for me, It's time to fade away.
 

Kchoo

At Peace.
For literal years, I've struggled with mental issues. I've fought it,

But, I constantly fight between two primary personalities, One is an agreeable ned Flanders sort,
The other is a monstrous domination aggressive win at any cost asshole.
I am neither of these people, I keep telling everyone, I'me leaving for their sake. But it's,
I can't find a middle ground, I can't just be me. I'm extreme in either personality.

When I am the agreeable person, I am so positive, It makes me sick, It makes others sick to view it. When I am the asshole, It makes me sick because inside, I don't mean to make people feel like that.

I close myself off from the world, I am already a hermit that doesn't deal with people, I almost never leave my home. But, As I have mentioned, Things are getting worse.
No longer is this something I am able to fight or control, My mind is getting worse. Other people could say, Well, come back when you are better. That's just it', I'm getting worse, Not better. My thing is, It's not just because I respect other people and don't want to offend them, But that is part of it. It hurts me too, having to lie and cover for myself when I say something that was clearing wrong or offensive and then having to lie about it or make a cover story on Why I defend that position. when that position was a sporadic personality regurgitation that I honestly have no desire to defend myself or my thoughts because I know better than anyone, Nothing I think matters and it's not worth defending because in literally ten minutes I will have changed my feelings about it.


I respect and to some degree care about everyone here. But, The sad truth is, I ultimately I am losing my mind, legitimately. And it comes to a point that I know you guys are willing to forgive me, But at this same time it's embarrassing for me, It's time to fade away.

Okay Dude... See a professional. Please.
And don’t leave because you feel crazy.... if you leave, leave cuz of some other reason, like... “I’m so sick of Aliens”. Or “Kchoo is such a dork..,”. Cuz to me, that would make more sense than what you are saying right now...
 

Sheltie

Fratty and out of touch.
Why are you embarrassed? We all use anonymous names here and no one knows who you are.
 

Georgek

George
Here's the good news.....

If you were really going crazy, you wouldn't be aware of it.

I have to agree with that...although I do not speak from experience...lol

My mother who is 92 years old had been 'level headed' all her life.

Since the NHS got hold of her after a fall in her kitchen she became bed ridden
Being in bed day and night created Cabin Fever.

X-Ray results also showed her to have Small Vein Disease in her head.
The combination of Dementia set in quite strong.

We have trouble explaining to her that her mother had died 35 years ago and that she only has the one house

She often gets confused and refuses all medication which is probably the reason why she is physically fit!

The problem is that she does not realise that there is anything wrong with her.
Despite having asked me about 750 times where is grandma?
She thinks that she is normal and often gets agitated if people challenge her views.
Shadowprofit0...have you ever thought that you are okay...and that you are just a sensitive person perhaps showing your emotions instead of holding them back?

My parents are Cypriot and Polish as it is a very explosive mixture. Greeks blow 'hot and cold' as I do at times.
We SHOULD all be the ourselves because we let out the bad feelings which would otherwise build up in us.

It does not mean that we are BAD people.

It simply means:- "Good job I did not have a club in my hand when you ran over my foot"...lol

Nor does it mean that we should hit people or resort to violence in any way.

We should have this element of control (unless there is no one looking:D)

George
 

Georgek

George
Why are you embarrassed? We all use anonymous names here and no one knows who you are.
Sorry to butt in here.....but I have always been worried about displaying my name on forums.

The thing is that with a surname like mine, folks can easily trace me.
Some folks used to write:- "We all know that Georgek is really 'AxemanGrind' ' 'DemonHeadCutter' or 'JackMurderer'
(whatever) and has duel membership!"

So I think:- "This is me they are talking about?"

So you want to give them your full name psychiatric record (if you have one) and all kinds of private issues as to validate your sincerity.

This is what they want you to do.

You can be as honest as you can and then perhaps take up a psychic challenge someone had issued for you. As to either shut your mouth and get lost or prove it by this simple test. The simple test turns out to be a major challenge but all the same you take it on and they lose and they become rather silly.
The next thing, they had looked you up, by all the small things that you had written in your posts and then you get the death threats.

It can be very intimidating and concerning.
I am not going to go into this...because it becomes deep. In short people hate psychics. We are meant to be crooks taking the human race for 'a ride'.

We are not all like that and paranormal studies can be dangerous because of who you may attract.

Although not evident here...there are a lot of people who use forums to literally destroy the meaning of 'paranormal'
They are entitled to do this as this is their view.

If you are a minority, you become the trouble maker because you upset peoples faith (or lack of it).

Going back to the point....it is a great shame that we have to hide ourselves. These forums attract all kinds of people and you have to be careful how strong your views may be and who is listening to you.
Big Brother does exist and I bet there are even authorities reading this very forum. This si going to the extreme...I know...

You are literally exposed to the whole world and if you ain't got the money to hide yourself..you can end up a 'lame duck'
(or a dead one)

George
 
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Sheltie

Fratty and out of touch.
Here's the good news.....

If you were really going crazy, you wouldn't be aware of it.

I concur! My mother also suffered from dementia before she died and I have known at least 2 people who were paranoid schizophrenics. People who suffer from such illnesses really do believe they're sane and that everyone else has the problem.

We all have our little quirks and eccentricities. I, for instance, realize I can be a bit of a neurotic nut at times but I know we are what we are. We just have to accept and embrace our inner nuttiness. :smile2:
 
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