Shadowprophet
Truthiness
I really have had a rough life and there has just been so much loss and bullshit. It's endless.
Notwithstanding. I know others have it rough too. So It's not like I'm making a special case out of my own issues. The problem is, Just denying it and telling myself I'm not just isn't fixing the issues.
For years now, I've been looking for a way to slowly fade away, I make excuses like I'm losing my eyesight, which I am, but still. But the problem is deeper than that, I've just lost my will to be a part of groups or even hang out with people. I honestly just want nothing more than to spend the rest of my time with my family and grandchildren and my dogs. There was a time in my life when I was uncertain about who I was, Or what I wanted and communities let me spend time about people and feel like I was part of something Big.
But. I've entered a different stage of my life, All I truly want is family and my dogs. I have everything I could ever want out of life. It took me years just to learn how to deal with the loss of my Daughters, There is no easy way to overcome pain and loss. And You guys all helped me, Just by being there and hearing me out.
I've to spent Years Evolving from a person of great loss and sadness, taking his pain out on other people just to cope. Into someone, Who Genuinely cares about others, Into someone I like. Now that I can see around me, at the new life I have, New daughters, New Grandchildren, And I'm genuinely able to love them and feel their love for me. I am more complete than I have ever been. This, Life, This Youtube, and Twitter life, This Science and ufology life. Forums and Articles life, It's been a huge part of my existence for decades. But I look up from the keyboard, I don't see the same young person that started this life, I see an old man. And I feel a need to spend more time with family.
I know I've said it before, But This is Really it. I'm wary of the Online thing. It's something I'm ready to take a long break from. I may be back someday, Who knows, But My full intentions are to live this new life I've built. To finish my garage. To take my grandkids to Disney World and hell maybe be a more outdoorsy person.
I feel it. I feel it in my soul. I'm throwing my final years on this earth away sitting at a desk. No.
Peace out everybody. SP.
Notwithstanding. I know others have it rough too. So It's not like I'm making a special case out of my own issues. The problem is, Just denying it and telling myself I'm not just isn't fixing the issues.
For years now, I've been looking for a way to slowly fade away, I make excuses like I'm losing my eyesight, which I am, but still. But the problem is deeper than that, I've just lost my will to be a part of groups or even hang out with people. I honestly just want nothing more than to spend the rest of my time with my family and grandchildren and my dogs. There was a time in my life when I was uncertain about who I was, Or what I wanted and communities let me spend time about people and feel like I was part of something Big.
But. I've entered a different stage of my life, All I truly want is family and my dogs. I have everything I could ever want out of life. It took me years just to learn how to deal with the loss of my Daughters, There is no easy way to overcome pain and loss. And You guys all helped me, Just by being there and hearing me out.
I've to spent Years Evolving from a person of great loss and sadness, taking his pain out on other people just to cope. Into someone, Who Genuinely cares about others, Into someone I like. Now that I can see around me, at the new life I have, New daughters, New Grandchildren, And I'm genuinely able to love them and feel their love for me. I am more complete than I have ever been. This, Life, This Youtube, and Twitter life, This Science and ufology life. Forums and Articles life, It's been a huge part of my existence for decades. But I look up from the keyboard, I don't see the same young person that started this life, I see an old man. And I feel a need to spend more time with family.
I know I've said it before, But This is Really it. I'm wary of the Online thing. It's something I'm ready to take a long break from. I may be back someday, Who knows, But My full intentions are to live this new life I've built. To finish my garage. To take my grandkids to Disney World and hell maybe be a more outdoorsy person.
I feel it. I feel it in my soul. I'm throwing my final years on this earth away sitting at a desk. No.
Peace out everybody. SP.