I don't like speaking about Depression and emotions. I live how I feel, I've always been that way and for someone to know me, they know the real true me.... I don't come here to be fake. I come here and keep coming back because I get to be the real me and I feel like I belong here. I don't understand pain. I mean, logically. The emotion of pain. The thing I don't understand about it is. There is a great deal of it. But I have this unique ability to stop the pain. It's still there. I just don't feel it. It's like I disconnected from it or something. A lot of people I speak to, Tell me that it's unhealthy to go numb, But that's not what this is. I can feel other emotions, Like happiness and joy. I literally have this weird thing. Where I can identify the pain and lay it down and walk away from it. The problem with this is. If you really think about it. That's a psychological red flag for a sociopath, Someone who can turn emotions on and off, Someone like that isn't feeling emotions. They are controlling them, If not inventing them. It leads me to think, Life is like a script we follow a character, And we must sit and feel the way we were meant to, even if it's painful and inconvenient, So I literally just turn them off. and the problem here is it's really easy to do. Like, I want it to stop hurting. And it does. And I no longer care about what was bothering me. It all sounds complicated, and maybe it is. But it's also pretty fucked up once you think about it.