A quiet little post about depression and emotions.

Discussion in 'Social Place' started by Shadowprophet, Sep 25, 2017.

  1. Shadowprophet

    Shadowprophet Truthiness

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    I don't like speaking about Depression and emotions. I live how I feel, I've always been that way and for someone to know me, they know the real true me....

    I don't come here to be fake. I come here and keep coming back because I get to be the real me and I feel like I belong here.

    I don't understand pain. I mean, logically. The emotion of pain. The thing I don't understand about it is. There is a great deal of it. But I have this unique ability to stop the pain. It's still there. I just don't feel it. It's like I disconnected from it or something. A lot of people I speak to, Tell me that it's unhealthy to go numb, But that's not what this is. I can feel other emotions, Like happiness and joy. I literally have this weird thing. Where I can identify the pain and lay it down and walk away from it. The problem with this is. If you really think about it. That's a psychological red flag for a sociopath, Someone who can turn emotions on and off, Someone like that isn't feeling emotions. They are controlling them, If not inventing them.

    It leads me to think, Life is like a script we follow a character, And we must sit and feel the way we were meant to, even if it's painful and inconvenient, So I literally just turn them off. and the problem here is it's really easy to do. Like, I want it to stop hurting. And it does. And I no longer care about what was bothering me.

    It all sounds complicated, and maybe it is. But it's also pretty fucked up once you think about it.

    [​IMG]
     
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  2. nivek

    nivek As Above So Below

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  3. Visenya

    Visenya Honorable

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    Most people do. It's a misconception about mental illness that you must be sad all the time, or feel little to no emotion.

    Depression is complex. There's no unique ability, except within yourself.
     
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  4. Sheltie

    Sheltie Celestial

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    That's an interesting perspective, Shadow. I've always been exactly the opposite -- I'm overly sensitive. If a conflict or or situation comes up, I think about it too much and often replay it over and over again in my mind. Honestly, I've always been somewhat envious of people who can turn off their emotions and stop the pain.
     
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  5. Shadowprophet

    Shadowprophet Truthiness

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    That is amazing logic right there. It explains how positive eventually become negative over time. Almost like, Emotions are a living thing that evolves or devolves over time. That's an amazing and probably accurate insight bro.
     
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  6. Shadowprophet

    Shadowprophet Truthiness

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    I mean every action we take has an equal and opposite reaction, a counterbalance When you are able to manage emotions like that. Eventually, one becomes insensitive to others needs and expects other to be able to simply turn their emotions off as well. This path can lead to cold callus personality traits sometimes, So it's not all positives. I promise :)
     
  7. Sheltie

    Sheltie Celestial

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    I know exactly what you're talking about there. My parents were both very cold and verbally abusive. They would often make fun of me and my brother and sister whenever we expressed emotions. I didn't understand it at all back then but I've learned more about it as they years have passed.
     
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  8. August

    August Metanoia

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    I wonder sometimes people that are Sociopaths whether or not they actually suffer from depression / anxiety ?
     
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  9. Shadowprophet

    Shadowprophet Truthiness

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    That's a good question, I suppose it could depend on the severity of the illness, But that's a really good question none the less.
     
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  10. August

    August Metanoia

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    Sociopaths do not have empathy towards anything or one. I know of two such people and to my knowledge neither of them have ever expressed being depressed or anxious over anything. What ever it is that makes them what they are would go a long way ,if it could be bottled, to fixing the worlds ills with depression.
     
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  11. Merle

    Merle Honorable

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    Sure can.... Sociopaths as well as Psychopaths, like any other human, can have a deep wish to be loved and cared for and can suffer from emotional pain just like everyone else can. Just because someone appears to be outwardly emotionless and not depressed nor show any signs of anxiety doesn't mean that deep down they aren't suffering in agony...

    'Despite their outward arrogance, psychopaths feel inferior to others and know they are stigmatized by their own behavior.'

    The Hidden Suffering of the Psychopath | Psychiatric Times
     
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  12. August

    August Metanoia

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    Yes I can relate to your second sentence.
     
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  13. Sheltie

    Sheltie Celestial

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    I don't think there is a connection between being a sociopath and being depressed. I also don't think there is a connection between being overly sensitive and being depressed. I think it's all a combination of environmental factors and brain chemicals.
     
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  14. August

    August Metanoia

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    Also what's happened to you in your life as you mentioned. Some people carry a lot of baggage , me included.
     
  15. Dundee

    Dundee Fading day by day.

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    So where does someone like myself fit in, or how to deal with it perhaps.
    I have been diagnosed with.
    Depression, Asperger
    Extreme lack of confidence in Social Situations.
    And my Shrink says I am a high end em path.

    So i walk into a room, get hit in the head with a baseball bat of loos emotions. (Empath)
    Have no idea how much of, or if any at all, or if all of it, is directed at me. (Asperger)
    Usually find the most secluded dark corner to hide in, or, just leave (Asperger)
    Spend the next goodness knows how long stressing about it and getting depressed wondering what I did wrong to make so many people pissed off at me (All of the above)
    Often go get drunk which while drunk masks all but the depression, then when sober for the next 3 days multiplies the first ones by 5.
    Last step,
    GO back to step one and repeat cycle.
    Just call me cyclone brain :)
     
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  16. SOUL-DRIFTER

    SOUL-DRIFTER Life Long Researcher

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    I have typically been one of lesser emotions.
    When I was young I feel they were more of a factor in who I was but since my twenties have tried to rule over them and am always in a mode to control them.
    Though I sometimes fail with an end emotion of frustration and anger because of it and at times thoughts of hating the fact I am Human.
    Most emotions are brain chemical driven. My mothers side of the family have a history of at times going through emotional troubles and mood swings due to it. I did go through it a bit when I was very young, but I worked through it.
    My mother now is suffering with it. There is medication that can help. Been trying to talk her into asking for it from her doc..
     
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  17. Sheltie

    Sheltie Celestial

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    I've never picked up on any of this from you, Dundee. You always seem pretty comfortable in your own skin. I would never have guessed you suffer from Asperger or depression. I know you've had problems with relationships but, hey, who hasn't?
     
  18. Sheltie

    Sheltie Celestial

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    The biggest problem I have is that I live in a fantasy world and daydream a lot. I like being off in my own world but society doesn't like this type of behavior. I like being alone but I shouldn't. People don't like someone like me who always has his head in the clouds. I've never suffered from depression because in my little world everything is awesome.
     
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  19. Dundee

    Dundee Fading day by day.

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    Been on tablets for depression for years, The latter have only recently found out about. it explains a lot of my past behaviors. Forums are easy, your not face to face and words are easier to follow. Its the in person stuff I always stuff up. Just ask m ex wife. She always accused me of being antisocial, and always reading her moods wrong, always feeling threatened or jealous. She would give you a comprehensive complaint list should you ask her.
     
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  20. SOUL-DRIFTER

    SOUL-DRIFTER Life Long Researcher

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    I have been accused of that as well Dundee.
    I do tend to read her mood well though...when I try.
    I think most women could come up with a long complaint list about their man or former men.
    I have one of my own about my wife.
    Be interesting to compare them.
     

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