Alright,

[Shadowprophet]

I explained a little bit of this in another thread, I'm not having a great time right now. My youngest stepdaughter. who is 18, Shows how old I am. But, She is now pregnant by some guy.
Now get this. The Kids name is Tanner, He is 19 years old, Works at Mcdonalds, and is actively bisexual. This is the guy who got my stepdaughter pregnant. Now, Today, They are coming over for a visit, This is my first official meeting with Tanner.

...
The Active Bisexual who has my stepdaughter pregnant.
...

I'm supposed to be nice to this guy. When I was younger, I would always wonder why all my dates parents were such assholes. But now, I see it clearly. As a parent you can work your ass off giving them the best life you possibly can, with every advantage and then, Some asshole just happens by. and then they get all the respect you had to work years to establish and it's so easy for them. I know As I've broken down in another thread about this that this is now known. But now, I have to meet this dude and shake his hand and act as if I like him.

What a sucky day. And you can't tell Jordan, Look, He's actively bisexual. isn't that like he's cheating on you with Guys? Then she says, I'm actively bisexual. And Blah blah blah...

I would say Kids these days, But no, This can't be a common situation, Two bisexual kids who get pregnant, Remains bisexually active trying to have a relationship amidst that. There isn't a lot of normal to that situation. It's frustrating. No, It's more than that, it irritates me.

 

[Thomas R. Morrison]

Holy smokes SP - I'm not a father so I don't have much in the way of advice to offer, but you have my condolences.

In your position I think I'd take a very strategic approach, and go into this meeting with a very outwardly cool and relaxed friendly demeanor, so your daughter can draw a sharp comparison between you and this guy. Give 'em enough rope, in other words. Because if she can see the huge distinction between an excellent father and an irresponsible man-child, then she might think twice about flushing her life down the toilet in order to raise the child of a guy who probably won't be around by the time the child is born.

 

[Shadowprophet]

Holy smokes SP - I'm not a father so I don't have much in the way of advice to offer, but you have my condolences.

In your position I think I'd take a very strategic approach, and go into this meeting with a very outwardly cool and relaxed friendly demeanor, so your daughter can draw a sharp comparison between you and this guy. Give 'em enough rope, in other words. Because if she can see the huge distinction between an excellent father and an irresponsible man-child, then she might think twice about flushing her life down the toilet in order to raise the child of a guy who probably won't be around by the time the child is born.

Thank you brother, The Jordan situation is Hard to explain, See, I'm the stepfather, But Jordan has never shown an interest in boys or relationships till recently see, So her mother and father are allowing them to run wild with this. And. I know they are both adults technically. But. She just recently became interested in boys and now she's pregnant, I'm angry because her mom and her father didn't practice any restraint on their relationship because it was a straight relationship, they allowed Jordan all kinds of crazy freedom with this, Even though yes, they are 18. Still. My fears came true she almost immediately got pregnant. My wife says, What the hell could she have done, Jordan is 18, And that's true. But still.

I feel someone either Sam Or Scott dropped the ball here and this pregnancy could have been avoided, I mean Jordan just became interested in guys a little over a month ago, this is too soon to be pregnant It's insane in fact

 

[Toroid]

You've been dealt a strange array of issues lately.

 

[Shadowprophet]

You've been dealt a strange array of issues lately.

It seems so, I look back on my life, I question if any of it was ever normal.

The only thing that keeps me going is, Normal doesn't really exist though, Normal is like a unicorn, It's a concept that people understand and relate to, but it's really an unrealistic thing that if you ever really encountered either, It's time to check if you are still awake. Consider, Normal, is that bar, that standard that everyone thinks is so common but really it's just an approximation of a spectrum. My assumption is, There is no one, who perfectly fits in that category we call normal, If they did, they would be the most boring person that ever walked the earth I'd assume lol

 

[Thomas R. Morrison]

Thank you brother, The Jordan situation is Hard to explain, See, I'm the stepfather, But Jordan has never shown an interest in boys or relationships till recently see, So her mother and father are allowing them to run wild with this. And. I know they are both adults technically. But. She just recently became interested in boys and now she's pregnant, I'm angry because her mom and her father didn't practice any restraint on their relationship because it was a straight relationship, they allowed Jordan all kinds of crazy freedom with this, Even though yes, they are 18. Still. My fears came true she almost immediately got pregnant. My wife says, What the hell could she have done, Jordan is 18, And that's true. But still.

I feel someone either Sam Or Scott dropped the ball here and this pregnancy could have been avoided, I mean Jordan just became interested in guys a little over a month ago, this is too soon to be pregnant It's insane in fact

Yeah it's insane that she's been having sex without a condom, but that ship has sailed, sadly.

The only real power you have in this situation is to be a conduit for the truth to come out, so she can see things clearly and make the right call. And the only way you can do that is to exhibit inhuman strength and be super cool and friendly in this situation so you can draw the guy out and let him reveal his character (or the lack thereof). So you'll have to seem calm and totally easy-going, and casually ask ordinary questions without seeming confrontational or adversarial, so this guy opens up and spills his guts without intending to do so. So you'll have to just let everything that he says slide and act like it's all good....especially when he says insanely stupid and/or outrageously irresponsible stuff. Because then and only then will Jordan's sense of self-preservation kick in - when everyone else seems to be totally fine with the insanity coming out of this guy's mouth, and she feels like the only one in the room who hasn't been taking crazy pills. That's the kind of wake-up call that she needs to have - realizing that the only one who can deal with this responsibly, is herself. It's all on her; she needs to realize that, and the indirect approach is the only way to go because they'll both be going into this meeting ready for bear.

Good luck, and whatever you do, don't lose your cool for even a second, or then it'll be "them vs. you" - and that will only distract her from the real issue - the fact that no matter what happens next, the burden of making the right choices at this critical moment is solely on her. Because she's the one who's going to have to live with these decisions every single day for the rest of her life.

 

[Shadowprophet]

Yeah it's insane that she's been having sex without a condom, but that ship has sailed, sadly.

The only real power you have in this situation is to be a conduit for the truth to come out, so she can see things clearly and make the right call. And the only way you can do that is to exhibit inhuman strength and be super cool and friendly in this situation so you can draw the guy out and let him reveal his character (or the lack thereof). So you'll have to seem calm and totally easy-going, and casually ask ordinary questions without seeming confrontational or adversarial, so this guy opens up and spills his guts without intending to do so. So you'll have to just let everything that he says slide and act like it's all good....especially when he says insanely stupid and/or outrageously irresponsible stuff. Because then and only then will Jordan's sense of self-preservation kick in - when everyone else seems to be totally fine with the insanity coming out of this guy's mouth, and she feels like the only one in the room who hasn't been taking crazy pills. That's the kind of wake-up call that she needs to have - realizing that the only one who can deal with this responsibly, is herself. It's all on her; she needs to realize that, and the indirect approach is the only way to go because they'll both be gong into this meeting ready for bear.

Good luck, and whatever you do, don't lose your cool for even a second, or then it'll be "them vs. you" - and that will only distract her from the real issue - the fact that no matter what happens next, the burden of making the right choices at this critical moment is solely on her. Because she's the one who's going to have to live with these decisions every single day for the rest of her life.

Thanks, bro, I know that if I lose my cool, the only thing this will accomplish is it will hurt mine and Jordan's relationship. Possible My wife and jordans relationship and at worst, Mine and my wife's relationship. To be truthful. I don't have many options but to treat the guy well. No matter what my hands are tied.

In fairness about Tanner. He seems to be a Calm laid back individual well mannered too. I mean If I didn't hate him so much already, there is a lot about the guy to like. I'm going to try my best to be good to this guy, But, Truthfully. There is only one option I have If I want to get through this peacefully and that is to accept the guy. It's the most peaceful possible path for everyone.

 

[Thomas R. Morrison]

Thanks, bro, I know that if I lose my cool, the only thing this will accomplish is it will hurt mine and Jordan's relationship. Possible My wife and jordans relationship and at worst, Mine and my wife's relationship. To be truthful. I don't have many options but to treat the guy well. No matter what my hands are tied.

In fairness about Tanner. He seems to be a Calm laid back individual well mannered too. I mean If I didn't hate him so much already, there is a lot about the guy to like. I'm going to try my best to be good to this guy, But, Truthfully. There is only one option I have If I want to get through this peacefully and that is to accept the guy. It's the most peaceful possible path for everyone.

Yep. But knowing that there's a clear and wise purpose behind playing it cool, while gently drawing him out and asking the normal sensible questions about the whole parenting process (which I can almost guarantee that he'll be totally unprepared to answer), makes it a slightly less bitter pill to swallow.

Good luck.

 

[Dejan Corovic]

In UK schools actively influence children to consider have a spectrum of sexuality types. If parents complain, courts serve parents with exclusion orders prohibiting them to come near the school.

It's totally Orwellian, while happening inside democracy. Government takes possession of your own children without the right to complain.

 

[pigfarmer]

For what it's worth, we had a problem like that in my family. One of my nieces got hooked up with a gang banger. I mean, a real one. Dangerous. Not every kid grows up to be nice. He as 13 children from 11 different women and has spent his life in and out of various local lockups.

How my brother never killed him - and I am serious about that - I have no idea. He did play it cool and was always there for his daughter. After years of turmoil she came to her senses and we have my wonderful great-nephew in our lives.

Maybe the best favor he could do would be to fail to meet his responsibility and go the f**k away. In the meantime I guess you have to grin and bear it or it'll just make it worse.

I am sorry to hear all this. I feel for you.

 

[Shadowprophet]

In UK schools actively influence children to consider have a spectrum of sexuality types. If parents complain, courts serve parents with exclusion orders prohibiting them to come near the school.

It's totally Orwellian, while happening inside democracy. Government takes possession of your own children without the right to complain.

See, That's part of the issue with families here in the U.S too, Don't get me wrong, My wife works in social services. But, The government basically forces families to accept things that they would never teach their own children. To some extent, there isn't a lot of freedom in parenthood, It's like a blueprint that one must follow by law, So it's the governments that actually raise our children. We just foot the bill.

For what it's worth, we had a problem like that in my family. One of my nieces got hooked up with a gang banger. I mean, a real one. Dangerous. Not every kid grows up to be nice. He as 13 children from 11 different women and has spent his life in and out of various local lockups.

How my brother never killed him - and I am serious about that - I have no idea. He did play it cool and was always there for his daughter. After years of turmoil she came to her senses and we have my wonderful great-nephew in our lives.

Maybe the best favor he could do would be to fail to meet his responsibility and go the f**k away. In the meantime I guess you have to grin and bear it or it'll just make it worse.

I am sorry to hear all this. I feel for you.

Thank you brother, For me, This is torn me apart, It feels like I'm losing the only daughter I've ever had. Though I do have another stepdaughter. Jasmine, She moved away shortly after I married my wife, As she is much older than Jordan and was beginning her life as I moved in with sam. But Jordan, Jordan was Eight years old when I met her, She used to have me carry her around the house on my shoulders, I'm not ready to accept all of this. But I have too. And I understand about the gangbanger stuff. We Have had gangs come though here in southern Kentucky, BAck in I think 94 the crypts and bloods tried to start their gangbang shit here, Believe it or not, Some other Gang from Indiana ran them out of Kentucky, Then that Gang just left. No one knows much about them. Some people say it was some Gang that Had ties with the airforce, but that is just hearsay.

 

[pigfarmer]

Well, my brother lives next to Lake Michigan. He's an avid fisherman.

I am not. Don't like fish or fishing particularly.

But I have a standing offer for him. He invites me on a fishing trip, I go. Nudge nudge, wink wink.

So far he hasn't.

So far.

 

[Sheltie]

I know a lot of people will probably disagree with me on this, but a lot of people I know with school age children say the school curriculum nowadays almost tries to convince kids they're gay or bisexual. I think schools should present the facts, of course, but it shouldn't be done in such a heavy-handed, biased fashion. Kids that age are still trying to understand their sexual identity. Freddie Mercury of Queen, believe it or not, claims he did not realize he was gay until he was in his twenties.

 

[Sheltie]

I explained a little bit of this in another thread, I'm not having a great time right now. My youngest stepdaughter. who is 18, Shows how old I am. But, She is now pregnant by some guy.
Now get this. The Kids name is Tanner, He is 19 years old, Works at Mcdonalds, and is actively bisexual. This is the guy who got my stepdaughter pregnant. Now, Today, They are coming over for a visit, This is my first official meeting with Tanner.

...
The Active Bisexual who has my stepdaughter pregnant.
...

I'm supposed to be nice to this guy. When I was younger, I would always wonder why all my dates parents were such assholes. But now, I see it clearly. As a parent you can work your ass off giving them the best life you possibly can, with every advantage and then, Some asshole just happens by. and then they get all the respect you had to work years to establish and it's so easy for them. I know As I've broken down in another thread about this that this is now known. But now, I have to meet this dude and shake his hand and act as if I like him.

What a sucky day. And you can't tell Jordan, Look, He's actively bisexual. isn't that like he's cheating on you with Guys? Then she says, I'm actively bisexual. And Blah blah blah...

I would say Kids these days, But no, This can't be a common situation, Two bisexual kids who get pregnant, Remains bisexually active trying to have a relationship amidst that. There isn't a lot of normal to that situation. It's frustrating. No, It's more than that, it irritates me.

Good luck with this, SP. As you've already stated, they're both legal adults so there's not a whole lot you can do.

 

[Shadowprophet]

I know a lot of people will probably disagree with me on this, but a lot of people I know with school age children say the school curriculum nowadays almost tries to convince kids they're gay or bisexual. I think schools should present the facts, of course, but it shouldn't be done in such a heavy-handed, biased fashion. Kids that age are still trying to understand their sexual identity. Freddie Mercury of Queen, believe it or not, claims he did not realize he was gay until he was in his twenties.

I would agree, The problem I have with the LGBTQ agenda is that It's evolved into more than just someones sexual preference, It's developed into a movement, A movement of not just acceptance, But the pressure focused upon the straight community to comply. In the eductors mind, they believe they are teaching futureproof values. Like, It's okay to be gay. But ultimately, This New rising group has a lot of power socially, It's like a community or club that Children are literally taught, "Hey, your options for sex don't have to be limited, and by opening up to new experiences you increase your sex life by not limiting yourself to just one gender" thusly increasing chances for sex.


This method of thinking, Of tempting already emotional teenagers with even more options for sex does pull a lot of members. Take Jordan's example for instance. She Literally Joined the LGBTQ group at her school, Literally as a means to have a club of people to call friends and hang out with. The very moment a guy she liked came though, She entered a straight relationship. Which by the way caused her issues with her group in which she still had to affirm she was still bisexual to the group to smooth things over. Teenagers crave groups and circles to fit into.

I feel where everything falls apart is, Teaching Children about sex to begin with. See, It's uncomfortable to think about and talk about, But, These are children, They are all under eighteen, So why are sex clubs literally allowed in school? School isn't supposed to be about sex. Yet, This is allowed. And I mean, Those are Minor children, right? Why and how, is the educational systems Job, to Not just Teach Children about Sex. But even Allow pressure to be applied in regards to what's acceptable and what's not regarding sex.


Let me ask you something. If you have children. What person, Is qualified to teach your child about sex? I mean really? People are flawed and corrupt. And I know psychology, You can't tell me some man is teaching my stepdaughter about sex in school and he hasn't had thoughts about her, It's not possible to teach such a subject and not.


I don't like the world, I don't like how some things that are clearly wrong, are somehow okay.

I hermitize myself to the world, To the point that Now, I'm unable to relate to anyone or anything. SO I don't know if my posts make sense or sound like crazy rant's anymore, That's why I speak a lot less.

However. Some man comes up on the street and begins talking to your daughter about sex, How does that make you feel? Angry? Then someone says, No No, It's okay, That man is a sex Ed teacher, He has a diploma, Does that really change the reality of the issue any?

 

[Sheltie]

Most studies reveal the gay/lesbian population is less than 5%.

Americans Have No Idea How Few Gay People There Are

I agree with you completely that the whole thing has evolved into a politically-powerful unstoppable dreadnought. If someone is LGBTQ, that's fine with me but I don't feel I should be obligated cheer for them as some sort of oppressed person.

 

[pigfarmer]

I have a couple of friends who are gay and remained closeted for years out of necessity. Or perceived necessity, they worried over their professional standing, impact on their business, etc. Different times, different levels of acceptance. Can't just change a mindset that's been ingrained over a lifetime.

There are extremists in any group who garner all the attention but in reality probably only represent a small portion of what they claim to represent. And there are hangers-on who just want to be part of something that gives them whatever plug-ins they need and actually being gay might be a long second, if at all.

I've had the underwhelming experience of watching the unwashed masses of humanity go about their business in their element, not pandering to a camera or event. What I have seen in just the past few years is that people are far more comfortable just being themselves and there is much more widespread acceptance. That's probably partly due to the demographic of the area I live in. No idea how public displays of affection for same sex or transgender people might play in say, North Dakota but around here I've grown used to it and frankly, don't care about it much.

That said, I admit the transgender issue is a bit hard for me to understand. Fortunately I don't really have to. I deal with a contractor a few times a month that is clearly a hairy guy wearing women's clothing but that has nothing to do with the reasons we're talking to each other in the first place. He seemed to actually flaunt it at first as if trying to shock me with it. Now he's just another schmuck that needs supplies. Yeah it was a little shocking and I don't know what to call him. Fortunately I generally refer to electricians as 'Sparky' unless I actually know them and that got around any of that awkwardness.

In contrast there's the young man across the street from me. I watched him run around in his diapers and now he's 21 years old. He was always a sullen and miserable kid that I privately had voted 'most likely to commit a heinous crime'. But as of last fall he has changed his outward appearance to female and I've actually seen him looking happy and relaxed for the first time ever. His parents are heartbroken and I can't imagine what that must be like to all concerned over there. I don't think it's an affectation. If that makes him happy who's he hurting?

 

[Shadowprophet]

I have a couple of friends who are gay and remained closeted for years out of necessity. Or perceived necessity, they worried over their professional standing, impact on their business, etc. Different times, different levels of acceptance. Can't just change a mindset that's been ingrained over a lifetime.

There are extremists in any group who garner all the attention but in reality probably only represent a small portion of what they claim to represent. And there are hangers-on who just want to be part of something that gives them whatever plug-ins they need and actually being gay might be a long second, if at all.

I've had the underwhelming experience of watching the unwashed masses of humanity go about their business in their element, not pandering to a camera or event. What I have seen in just the past few years is that people are far more comfortable just being themselves and there is much more widespread acceptance. That's probably partly due to the demographic of the area I live in. No idea how public displays of affection for same sex or transgender people might play in say, North Dakota but around here I've grown used to it and frankly, don't care about it much.

That said, I admit the transgender issue is a bit hard for me to understand. Fortunately I don't really have to. I deal with a contractor a few times a month that is clearly a hairy guy wearing women's clothing but that has nothing to do with the reasons we're talking to each other in the first place. He seemed to actually flaunt it at first as if trying to shock me with it. Now he's just another schmuck that needs supplies. Yeah it was a little shocking and I don't know what to call him. Fortunately I generally refer to electricians as 'Sparky' unless I actually know them and that got around any of that awkwardness.

In contrast there's the young man across the street from me. I watched him run around in his diapers and now he's 21 years old. He was always a sullen and miserable kid that I privately had voted 'most likely to commit a heinous crime'. But as of last fall he has changed his outward appearance to female and I've actually seen him looking happy and relaxed for the first time ever. His parents are heartbroken and I can't imagine what that must be like to all concerned over there. I don't think it's an affectation. If that makes him happy who's he hurting?

Psychologically, It's clear who he's hurting, His parents. I mean, To some extent, Kids rebel, I offer you this counterpoint, If his choices didn't bother his parents as they do, Would the kid have as much of an interest in those actions? It puts attention right on the kid. Which IS what teenagers want. Trust me on this. Nothing about that kid has changed but his outward appearance Correct? And what does someone's outward appearance do but affect others around him? It's psychological.

 

[pigfarmer]

It's psychological

Of course it is. Even radical surgery isn't changing certain biological facts. But with this kid, no, I don't think it's attention seeking. I don't really know him but have lived close by for years and saw him grow up with his siblings. This looks like a positive change for him, or her, or whatever. I can't even remember what his name was and don't really care what it is now.

I think some people genuinely do identify differently and should be allowed to express themselves however they want as long as they're not looking for unreasonable accommodation for it. We went to the friggin' Moon. We can sort out who uses what public toilet.

You know, if this was an Amish kid that decided that lifestyle wasn't for him and he changed his clothing, habits, maybe his name we'd look at it very differently. If this makes him happy - and it appears to - he's not hurting anyone. His relationship with his parents is between them.

 

[Shadowprophet]

Of course it is. Even radical surgery isn't changing certain biological facts. But with this kid, no, I don't think it's attention seeking. I don't really know him but have lived close by for years and saw him grow up with his siblings. This looks like a positive change for him, or her, or whatever. I can't even remember what his name was and don't really care what it is now.

I think some people genuinely do identify differently and should be allowed to express themselves however they want as long as they're not looking for unreasonable accommodation for it. We went to the friggin' Moon. We can sort out who uses what public toilet.

You know, if this was an Amish kid that decided that lifestyle wasn't for him and he changed his clothing, habits, maybe his name we'd look at it very differently. If this makes him happy - and it appears to - he's not hurting anyone. His relationship with his parents is between them.

I mean, I suppose I have a bias against this movement. But truthfully, It isn't really hurting people, It's a result of societal growth. I do support that anyone should be able to marry and love any gender, The same, or different. It's not homosexuality that bothers me. It's the forced pressure put upon straight people to act as if this public cross-dressing is normal when in fact it's a very vast minority. When so few people are actually doing this and following through with it, How are we supposed to act like this is so common? It's really not. If cross-dressing was as common and acceptable as people wanted us to believe it is, Then when you couldn't find the perfect outfit to wear to work you could just throw on one of your wife's tops and wear it for lack of anything else to wear that day and no one would even notice that. But the truth is, We haven't reached that point, And may never. So It's the deception that bothers me in it all, I am supposed to act like this is so acceptable and normal when truthfully less than five percent of all people are doing this.

I can't pretend it's the norm, It's just simply not the norm. Which makes it atypical and strange to me.