I know what you are thinking, I'm thinking that too, It's just such a big thing, My heart has been kind of messed up since birth. I keep hoping it's a phase. Sometimes these kinds of things happen. But a couple of days ago when it started, there were some alarming symptoms The pain went down my arm, My left eye was, Well, It's hard to explain, There was like a clenching feeling in it. and for brief moments, profound confusion that was directly associated with the pain as it struck. Don't get me wrong. Yeah, I'm scared, but, To go to the hospital would only be a formality Like 75 percent of my heart is dead, has been since my teens. There is no surgery or medicine they can really give me. So to go to the hospital would be more like a choice. if something happens, does it happen at home in comfort or does it happen at a hospital? Maybe it's like several of the other phases I've had over the years. perhaps it will be when it's all said and done. These kinds of things aren't uncommon for me. But, I never talk about these kinds of things because everyone is always like, Shadow, Go to the hospital. The thing is, Truthfully, The nearest hospital to me is thirty miles away. and it's not the kind of hospital that could help someone with my condition. which means they would have to fly me out to Bowling green. and even at bowling green, Their solution would be. Well, Darren, You have known this was coming for a long time, There isn't much we can do but put you to sleep in a medical coma so you don't experience this. That's the worst case scenario though. If it would just stop hurting and go back to normal, That would be the best case scenario. I know people think that hospitals have all the answers and they have all the solutions, But sometimes, They tell people that their condition is beyond their capability to treat and the only solution is to take it as it comes. if it was something simple like artery blockage or just a damaged valve, they could work with that, But, With 75 percent of it dead, They won't even dare to mess with it. If the time came that I was really facing the end, They would suggest medical coma. I think I'll pass on that.