Georgek
George
Having over 8,000 customers when I was in business, is hardly surprising I could never put a face to a phone call. So I gave them my own names.
1) One was unfortunate to be called:- "Filthy Phil"
'Filthy Phil' was a bit of a romantic. He called me out for a repair after his software got one of these malware/viruses depicting a policeman with the text 'STOP'
Phil was concerned in case the porn squad had 'got hold of him'
I took his computer away and reformatted, hence assuring him that he was quite safe. I made sure that my finger prints were washed away, just in case!
Geeze.....his hard drive was worth more BEFORE formatting!
2) There was a guy I called 'Lucky Eddy' I first met 'Lucky Eddy' after his computer had broken. On that particular day, he had crashed his car, door would open every time he wound his window down. His name was Eddy Cunningham.
His last words to me that day were:- "F****** rob dog.......you have really skint me!!" He was ten pence short in his generosity so I made him look for the extra amount.
He phoned me up about one year later after his wallet recovered as I said:- "Lucky Eddy!!!" How are you?
Anyway more gloom and doom as the tax man had got hold of his nest egg. (well at least he will be a bit shorter to pay)
Again he contacted me about 6 months later. I went to his house and started repairs on his computer.
He said he was going up the road to the supermarket for some milk, as I asked him to be careful.
He said:- "What the bl**dy h*ll are you on about......I am only going up the road!"
I said:- "Eddy...you know that you have a lot of bad luck when I am about?"
Anyway...he was back in ten minutes by which I said:- "That was quick!!"
He said:- "Yer...the bl**dy supermarket cashier got held up at gun point and the police had swarmed the building.
I always made sure he paid me before the repair in case he ended up in hospital.
3) Another guy I had never met before called me out for a repair. The symptom was his computer would not switch on.
On my arrival, I was told by my guides t9o jut place my hand on top of the base unit and it would work.
This I did as soon as I walked in as I remember he was a chewer.
His eyes looked me up and down, as I said that now it will work.
Switching on his machine, it burst into life as I said that will be £40 please.
He went quiet for about one minute, looking me up and down as his face had dropped.
Turning to me he retorted:- "What the f*** did you do to it??????!!!!"
"It was bust for two weeks and them you come along and put your hand on it, and it is fixed!!!"
I said:- "Did you not call me out to fix your computer?"
By which he said:-
"I did!"
So I said:- "Is it therefore now fixed?"
He said:- "YES"
So I said:- "£40 -please"
"But you have only been here for 2 minutes!!"
Anyway I got £35 out of him.
4) Being an engineer we suffer greatly as the most common form of payment is:- "Take what I have and s*d off"
I had already bust my pockets more than once with all the loose coins jingling. My weekly trips top my supplier was roughly £50,000 of components. Every time I walked in the shop, the manger ued to say after hearing my coins jingling....."Come on...hand it over and lets us put more £1 coins on the charity board. By which my hard earned £1 coin would be stuck on a board.
I got wise to that, and every time I entered the store, I kept my knees together. By which he would say:- "Did I hear coins in your pocket?"
"No not me Jeremy!!"
Anyway....
The next time I went there, he asked me if I wanted a cup of coffee? Thinking he was after more money, I asked if it was going to cost me anything?
By which he said:- "No...no of course not. You are a good customer!!"
I drank my coffee and asked if I could use his loo by which he said:
"Yes...of course, but that will be £1 please!!"
By that time my bladder was bursting so it was a £1 well relieved in paying!
When I came out of the toilet he asked:- "Would you like another coffee?"
5) Another I remember was a sole trader called 'Heaven Sent'
It ended up with her words:- "How dare you!!"
I am a mobile DJ as my name is Heather Angel
(I was not seeking her services)
1) One was unfortunate to be called:- "Filthy Phil"
'Filthy Phil' was a bit of a romantic. He called me out for a repair after his software got one of these malware/viruses depicting a policeman with the text 'STOP'
Phil was concerned in case the porn squad had 'got hold of him'
I took his computer away and reformatted, hence assuring him that he was quite safe. I made sure that my finger prints were washed away, just in case!
Geeze.....his hard drive was worth more BEFORE formatting!
2) There was a guy I called 'Lucky Eddy' I first met 'Lucky Eddy' after his computer had broken. On that particular day, he had crashed his car, door would open every time he wound his window down. His name was Eddy Cunningham.
His last words to me that day were:- "F****** rob dog.......you have really skint me!!" He was ten pence short in his generosity so I made him look for the extra amount.
He phoned me up about one year later after his wallet recovered as I said:- "Lucky Eddy!!!" How are you?
Anyway more gloom and doom as the tax man had got hold of his nest egg. (well at least he will be a bit shorter to pay)
Again he contacted me about 6 months later. I went to his house and started repairs on his computer.
He said he was going up the road to the supermarket for some milk, as I asked him to be careful.
He said:- "What the bl**dy h*ll are you on about......I am only going up the road!"
I said:- "Eddy...you know that you have a lot of bad luck when I am about?"
Anyway...he was back in ten minutes by which I said:- "That was quick!!"
He said:- "Yer...the bl**dy supermarket cashier got held up at gun point and the police had swarmed the building.
I always made sure he paid me before the repair in case he ended up in hospital.
3) Another guy I had never met before called me out for a repair. The symptom was his computer would not switch on.
On my arrival, I was told by my guides t9o jut place my hand on top of the base unit and it would work.
This I did as soon as I walked in as I remember he was a chewer.
His eyes looked me up and down, as I said that now it will work.
Switching on his machine, it burst into life as I said that will be £40 please.
He went quiet for about one minute, looking me up and down as his face had dropped.
Turning to me he retorted:- "What the f*** did you do to it??????!!!!"
"It was bust for two weeks and them you come along and put your hand on it, and it is fixed!!!"
I said:- "Did you not call me out to fix your computer?"
By which he said:-
"I did!"
So I said:- "Is it therefore now fixed?"
He said:- "YES"
So I said:- "£40 -please"
"But you have only been here for 2 minutes!!"
Anyway I got £35 out of him.
4) Being an engineer we suffer greatly as the most common form of payment is:- "Take what I have and s*d off"
I had already bust my pockets more than once with all the loose coins jingling. My weekly trips top my supplier was roughly £50,000 of components. Every time I walked in the shop, the manger ued to say after hearing my coins jingling....."Come on...hand it over and lets us put more £1 coins on the charity board. By which my hard earned £1 coin would be stuck on a board.
I got wise to that, and every time I entered the store, I kept my knees together. By which he would say:- "Did I hear coins in your pocket?"
"No not me Jeremy!!"
Anyway....
The next time I went there, he asked me if I wanted a cup of coffee? Thinking he was after more money, I asked if it was going to cost me anything?
By which he said:- "No...no of course not. You are a good customer!!"
I drank my coffee and asked if I could use his loo by which he said:
"Yes...of course, but that will be £1 please!!"
By that time my bladder was bursting so it was a £1 well relieved in paying!
When I came out of the toilet he asked:- "Would you like another coffee?"
5) Another I remember was a sole trader called 'Heaven Sent'
It ended up with her words:- "How dare you!!"
I am a mobile DJ as my name is Heather Angel
(I was not seeking her services)
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