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pigfarmer

tall, thin, irritable
Lori Lightfoot Blames Election Loss On 'Tricksy Hobbitses'

Lori Lightfoot Blames Election Loss On 'Tricksy Hobbitses'
POLITICS·Mar 1, 2023 · BabylonBee.com
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CHICAGO, IL — After suffering a humiliating defeat in Chicago's mayoral election, Lori Lightfoot blamed her stunning loss on "those tricksy hobbitses."

"They stole it from us!!" wailed Ms. Lightfoot. "Nasty, tricksy little hobbitses!!"

The campaign watched the disastrous results come in from a dimly lit sushi restaurant, where the enraged Ms. Lightfoot gorged herself on juicy-sweet raw fish. "Gone!! It's gone, precious!!" cried Ms. Lightfoot to supporters. "Filthy, sneaky hobbitses!! Wicked, tricky, false! Curse them! CURSE THEM!!!"

Long considered the electoral frontrunner, Ms. Lightfoot saw her lead evaporate as supporters became steadily more concerned about being murdered. "I just don't want to die," said local woman Brandi Buckingham. "I can look past a lot with Lori Lightfoot - the eyes, how she walks on all fours, all of it. I just can't look past the whole murder thing. I know she'll take the loss hard, but I really hope she finds a new path forward."

At publishing time, aides for the two campaigns heading to a runoff reported the strange sense that some sort of creature was following them.
 
nivek

nivek

As Above So Below
Shut down the southern border, plain and simple...

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Two Americans survived border kidnap linked to ultra-violent Gulf Cartel that killed their two friends as they drove south 'to get budget tummy tuck'​

Two Americans who survived being kidnapped at gunpoint at the US-Mexico border by 'Gulf Cartel' have been pictured in the back of an ambulance before being transported to Texas. Two others traveling with them were found dead along a road to a beach, local news outlets reported. At least one person has been arrested. Latavia 'Tay' McGee, her cousin Shaeed Woodard and their friends Zindell Brown and Eric Williams were said to be traveling south so McGee could get a budget tummy tuck when they got caught in gunfire between two gangs March 3.

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nivek

nivek

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Don't make plans for Valentine's Day 2046! NASA warns asteroid the size of Leaning Tower of Pisa is on a collision course with Earth - and LA and NYC are possible impact zones​

NASA warns city-destroying asteroid could smash into Earth on Valentine's Day 2046
An asteroid around the same size of the Leaning Tower of Pisa was discovered by NASA last month. The collision of the 165-foot 2023 DW with our planet would be comparable to the Tunguska 12-megaton event that slammed into Siberia 114 years ago, which was similar to a nuclear explosion. 2023 DW has a chance of impacting Earth on February 14, 2046 at 4:44pm ET. A map showing potential impact zones lists Los Angeles and Washington DC as possible sites, but NASA said it is too soon to confirm.

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pigfarmer

pigfarmer

tall, thin, irritable
I was just speculating about a cool way to go out in the Afterlife thread. Big meteor ? Gives me a reason to want to go back up to the observation deck on the Empire State Building. In 2046.
 
nivek

nivek

As Above So Below
Wtf, another train derails!...

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Norfolk Southern train derails in Alabama just before CEO testifies​

Hours before Norfolk Southern CEO Alan Shaw appeared before Congress on Thursday, another of the rail operator's trains derailed in Alabama.

Around 30 train cars came off the tracks in Calhoun County, according to the Calhoun County Emergency Management Agency.

"There are no injuries and no reports of leaks of hazmat also, we have no road blockages," it said in a Facebook post.

Norfolk Southern told FOX Business in an emailed statement that the incident occurred in Piedmont.

(More on the link)

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nivek

nivek

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The stock market crash is beginning...

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Silicon Valley Bank HALTS trading as shares crash 64% today amid talks to sell troubled lender: Panic caused by tech industry slowdown spreads to Wall Street - as Peter Thiel's venture capital fund warns startups to PULL money out of SVB​

Silicon Valley Bank halts trading pending an announcement

Shares of SVB were down 63% in premarket trading on Friday, after slumping about 60% in the previous session, with investors concerned about the strength of its balance sheet. On Thursday night, Founders Fund, the venture capital fund co-founded by Peter Thiel, advised startups to pull their money from Silicon Valley Bank amid concerns about its financial stability, according to Bloomberg. It came after SVB Financial Group announced a massive equity raise to cover a $1.8 billion loss on the sale of bonds, which the bank was forced to liquidate to cover a steep decline in deposits.

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nivek

nivek

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Silicon Valley Bank is SEIZED by regulators after run on deposits caused lender to collapse in largest US bank failure since Great Recession - as panic over tech industry slowdown spreads to Wall Street​

Silicon Valley Bank has been seized by financial regulators after a run on deposits tipped the bank into failure. The bank was shuttered on Friday by the California Department of Financial Protection and Innovation, which appointed the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) as receiver, officials said in a statement. The FDIC said depositors will have full access to their insured deposits no later than Monday morning. The federal agency insures each depositor to at least $250,000.

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nivek

nivek

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Silicon Valley Bank's Manhattan branch calls COPS on investors trying to pull their cash out as Boston tech CEO with $10M in bank describes 'worst 18 hours of my life': Lender is SEIZED by regulators in largest US bank failure since Great Recession​

Silicon Valley Bank branch calls NYPD on tech investors after they tried to pull out cash

Police were called (center and inset) after 'about a dozen' financiers, including former Lyft executive Dor Levi, showed up outside the building on Park Avenue as investors scrambled to get their money out in the biggest collapse since the Great Recession. The bank failed today as depositors - mostly technology workers and venture capital-backed companies - began withdrawing their money following a shock announcement of a $1.8bn loss.

The bank took a hammering in pre-market with its price plunging by 66 percent before trading was halted. But with investors only protected up to $250,000, there have already been horror stories. Ashley Tyrner (left), CEO of Boston wellness firm FarmboxRx, said she had at least $10m deposited with SVB and has been frantically calling her banker. She said it had been 'the worst 18 hours of my life.' With around $209bn in assets, SVB (heardquarters, right) is the second-largest bank failure in US history after the 2008 collapse of Washington Mutual. It is the first FDIC-insured bank to fail in more than two years, the last being Almena State Bank in October 2020.

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wwkirk

wwkirk

Divine
nivek said:
with investors only protected up to $250,000
Click to expand...
I've never been burdened with so much money that it isn't FDIC insured. But I had always presumed that those who had too endure such a load had various means, liquid and non-liquid, to protect most of their money.

But maybe I'm thinking too small. Perhaps, the 10 million is just the tip of her wealth iceberg.

I'm making jokes, but I do hope no one suffers long term form the situation. And I hope that it doesn't have repercussions that adversely affect all of us.
 
AD1184

AD1184

Celestial
nivek said:
The stock market crash is beginning...


Shares of SVB were down 63% in premarket trading on Friday, after slumping about 60% in the previous session, with investors concerned about the strength of its balance sheet. On Thursday night, Founders Fund, the venture capital fund co-founded by Peter Thiel, advised startups to pull their money from Silicon Valley Bank amid concerns about its financial stability, according to Bloomberg. It came after SVB Financial Group announced a massive equity raise to cover a $1.8 billion loss on the sale of bonds, which the bank was forced to liquidate to cover a steep decline in deposits.
Click to expand...
It seems that Thiel incited a run on the bank.
 
wwkirk

wwkirk

Divine
nivek said:

Silicon Valley Bank is SEIZED by regulators after run on deposits caused lender to collapse in largest US bank failure since Great Recession - as panic over tech industry slowdown spreads to Wall Street​

Silicon Valley Bank has been seized by financial regulators after a run on deposits tipped the bank into failure. The bank was shuttered on Friday by the California Department of Financial Protection and Innovation, which appointed the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation (FDIC) as receiver, officials said in a statement. The FDIC said depositors will have full access to their insured deposits no later than Monday morning. The federal agency insures each depositor to at least $250,000.

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Click to expand...
Tucker Carlson analysis.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cl-ZawiAghE&t=128s
 
nivek

nivek

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Fears Silicon Valley Bank collapse could topple First Republic Bank next, as shares slump 40% in a month and investors voice concerns over losses on its investments​

Fears Silicon Valley Bank collapse could hit First Republic Bank

First Republic Bank, the the 16th largest in the US, saw its shares close down 15 per cent Friday, after the firm lost 40 per cent of its value over the last month. The concern was due to the collapse of similarly-positioned Silicon Valley Bank. Analysts expressed alarm when they noted that First Republic, like Silicon Valley Bank, had a large difference between the fair-market value (the estimated value) and balance-sheet value (the actual value) of its assets. Silicon Valley Bank's difference was in debt securities, while First Republic's was in loans.

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nivek

nivek

As Above So Below
More headlines on this financial crisis...

Silicon Valley Bank panic escalates: Customers line up around block outside Bay Area branch, as bank's collapse sparks fears they'll lose deposits over $250,000​


Silicon Valley Bank collapse triggers crisis for California's wine industry, as most of state's vineyards used its services, amid warnings only the first $250,000 of clients' deposits are insured​


More than $70 billion is wiped off crypto market in 24 hours as bitcoin drops 8% to near two-month low - after key crypto lender Silvergate became the OTHER bank to collapse this week​


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nivek

nivek

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Mompreneurs on Etsy say they can't 'pay the mortgage' or 'feed their kids' after their payments failed to arrive because firm used shuttered Silicon Valley Bank to process sales - as fallout from collapse hits ordinary families​

Etsy sellers have been left struggling to pay their bills this weekend after the site was forced to freeze transactions following the collapse of Silicon Valley Bank. On Friday the bank became the largest to fail since the 2008 financial crisis leaving billionaire investors scrambling to recuperate their funds. But the collapse has not just affected wealthy tech entrepreneurs. Etsy announced on Friday that it could not process some sales payments due to the fact it uses Silicon Valley Bank to distribute funds on a number of its accounts. Furious sellers took to social media to complain about the issue, with one mother-of-three complaining 'those funds feed my family and pay my bills.'



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nivek

nivek

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Home Depot founder Bernie Marcus warns Americans to 'wake up' after 'woke' Silicon Valley Bank goes bust - because it was 'more concerned about woke issues than shareholder returns'​

The co-founder of Home Depot, Bernie Marcus says Americans need to 'wake up' to the reality that the US economy is facing tough times following the collapse of Silicon Valley Bank.

Marcus also laid some of the blame for the bank's failure with the Biden administration over prioritizing 'global warming' instead of shareholder returns.

Marcus argued that the collapse of the bank shows the US economy is not as strong as President Biden has suggested. He criticized the bank's officials for selling off their stock before the collapse, and lamented the fact that many Americans lost their money in what he called a 'woke bank.'

'I can't wait for Biden to get on the speech again and talk about how great the economy is and how it's moving forward and getting stronger by the day. And this is an indication that whatever he says is not true. And maybe the American people will finally wake up and understand that we're living in very tough times, that, in fact, that a recession may have already started. Who knows? But it doesn't look good,' Marcus said on Fox News, on Saturday.

(More on the link)

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