Stop me if you heard this one before....I'm back

Discussion in 'Welcome to Alien Expanse' started by Wade, Oct 15, 2021.

  1. Wade

    Wade Stare..... They are always staring

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    I hope that it will put things more in perspective...

    Just to fill you all in (some may remember me from the paracast forum a few years ago) but it will be five years come December 8th I had suffered a massive cerebral hemorrhage (brain bleed) and to say that it hasn't been easy being me would be a large understatement. I was here in this forum briefly a few years ago but had to bow out because I was having trouble readjusting back to life and society in general. Physically, I'm a lot better but still have a long ways to go. This coming Halloween I'll hit the big 6-Oh and in December as I previously mentioned it will be five years since I almost left this world so I figured I thought I would get back in the game again. My interest in anything paranormal in nature has had to take a back seat to other concerns and thus has really taken a nose dive tbh, I have had my hands full to say the least.

    As of spring 2020 I found myself back in Los Angeles which has been my home since 1980. I grabbed onto a brand f***ing new subsidized apartment so the compact as of this date has 28 1/2 years left.

    My stroke scale was 27 out of a possible worst scale of 42 so that may give you an idea of some of the challenges I have had to face, I was completely paralyzed on the right side of my body, and although I am hobbling around now I still have no use of my right arm and hand and I have lots of problems with spasticity and clonus. I'm still on disability and given that I will be 60 in a couple of weeks and any jobs available out there will not be suitable for an old fart such as I, even if I get myself patched up I will likely be on disability for the duration. Of course I guess I could snag a gig labor position

    I now have a big issue with my balance and vertigo and at times i will get overwhelmed if I go out for a bite to eat by all the "information"(?) that comes streaming into me ( sirens, horns, construction work etc. ) and I will then high tail it back to my apartment and cocoon for the rest of the day.

    All in all I'm not going to lie to you, it's been rough physically, emotionally and mentally. The latter two aspects especially and on that note I can't decide which one has kicked my ass the most but I will come out on top of all this, but it is a lot to handle. You have to really take the bull by the horns, it's a constant battle of readjustments and getting past the readjusting is just step one in a multilayered process.

    As far as posting I try to get my interest up in paranormal phenomena but I don't think I can, it just isn't there any longer, it's been superseded by shall we say more relevant issues.

    One of more interesting things to deal with is that with five games into the season and this finally looks it could be the season for the Buffalo Bills and I find I really don't care anymore, all the past years of anticipation have been shot to hell because even though they may be in the big game this season I've got bigger fish to fry, I've got to get Wade 2.0 on track.
     
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  2. pigfarmer

    pigfarmer tall, thin, irritable

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    Glad you're back @Wade !

    I remember the video you posted of yourself learning to walk again and it stuck with me. Just when you think you have problems you hear from someone that makes you embarrassed to think you did.

    Keep at it man and keep posting !
     
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  3. Sheltie

    Sheltie good to the last drop

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    Welcome back, Wade. I have a friend who I've known since college who had a stroke about 2 1/2 years ago. The stroke itself wasn't too bad but unfortunately it left him with dementia. His dementia is getting progressively worse.

    Unfortunately, he had a really ugly divorce and has not spoken to his ex or his 2 kids in years. His sister is probably going to have to put him in assisted living. I take food to him sometimes. It's very sad. He never took care of his health at all and he is sinking fast.

    I'm glad to hear that you are having success in your fight!:Thumbsup:
     
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  4. The shadow

    The shadow The shadow knows!

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    Welcome back wade!
    I will send positive energy. Keep up the good fight
    Bob
     
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  5. Wade

    Wade Stare..... They are always staring

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    Thank You so much and I'm so sorry to hear of your friend. You know as tough as this whole thing has been I think I have to be glad that it was a hemorrhagic stroke and not an ischemic one because I think the way it works is if you have the ischemic stroke that is more likely to result in cognitive issues(?) as they occur to the cerebrum and are likely to cause emotional and mental problems while hemorrhagic strokes mostly happen to cerebellum which handles your movement and coordination.
     
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  6. pigfarmer

    pigfarmer tall, thin, irritable

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    Now that you mention it .......

    I work with a man who just had a stroke. Don't really know him very well but it came as a surprise. 59 years old, lives alone. Went home from work one night about ten days ago and that was that. Next day a concerned neighbor called the cops and they found him unresponsive. They had him on a ventilator and in a medically induced coma up until a few days ago and although they removed the tube and tried to wake him up he is still out of it. Poor guy.

    I gather his cholesterol and blood pressure were through the roof. He is overweight and always pale shaky and sweaty. Never looked healthy to me, even from a distance. Guessing it might've been the latter type you mentioned, dunno. Sounds like it.
     
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  7. Wade

    Wade Stare..... They are always staring

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    A helpful way to look at it is a ischemic stroke is *essentially* a heart attack but it occurs to the brain ( a brain attack) and is the result of a bad diet and not any exercise. My BP upon being admitted was 212/88; presently a comfortable 103/70, and my choloresterol while nothing to write home about wasn't too bad, what sealed the deal for me was bad OSA (obstructive sleep apnea) and instead of a blockage I had a rupture hence the bleeding, either way it was nasty
     
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  8. coubob

    coubob Celestial

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    Dang, I`m just glad your back,Bro.q3
     
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  9. Wade

    Wade Stare..... They are always staring

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    Regarding my bailing out so soon after I had enjoyed the forum...

    So I had gotten to a point where I had to wonder to myself "what next", "where do I go from here" I survived the stroke itself but what were my chances going down the line a bit and TBH some "rudimentary" reports showed that the circumstances didn't seem very encouraging.

    There wasn't a whole lot to go on but in several papers found online I saw reports that stated something on the order of survival being about 38.2% within a period of five years.

    And I'm reading this and I think to myself WTF ?? You mean that you are going to pull through this and muck about through life for five more years and STILL keel over ?? It didn't make sense and I needed context but none was coming. And this was the overriding issue with me and which is why after joining this forum I just disappeared again, I couldn't concentrate on anything and I had to get to the bottom of this conundrum.

    What I essentially came to rationalize out was these people...keeping in mind that I don't think they were part of a focus group or study group or anything like that… a number of them hadn't really done anything about the circumstances that got them to where they were in the first place, that is stroke survivors. They didn't appear to take heed about getting to the root of their problem, their blood pressure, cholesterol and keeping on top of their diabetes numbers.

    Well I can tell you that that wasn't me. Right off the bat I understood what a travesty I had allowed my life to become. I didn't go around blaming God or anybody or anything else like that, this was my fault, it was on me and so it would be up to me to address these issues.

    At first while still back east for a time I was on like 5-6 meds a day, now I am on 3 and they are all maintenance doses 2.5/7 mg a day. My doctor told me that they were all basically like taking an aspirin a day. I meditate daily to address the anxiety that continues to rear its head...no more Prozac...and I fast once a week, sometimes twice a week. It's all fresh vegetables and chicken or turkey, some lamb and quite a liberal use of olive oil, it's a quasi- Mediterranean diet. Besides the usual age 50+ multivitamin I upped my magnesium and take Magnesium L-Threonate and vitamin D
    *No fish though, I'm not a fish eater*

    I have essentially turned my life around over the past five years. My life has been nothing less than splendid ever since. I am back home in a subsidized unit in LA (but LA still has its issues as you well know) Since August I changed my part D on my Medicare and saved about $33 a month, I was accepted by MediCal the states medical program and they are picking up the monthly Medicare part B charge of $140 a month... and it will go up again in January...and lastly my SSDI will increase by $95 a month in January as part of the COLA ( cost of living adjustment) I seem to be on a roll.

    Things can change for the worse at any time but still I look back and think how I basically just schlepped along for nearly four decades, I spent a large part of that period "robbing Peter to pay Paul" just barely staying ahead of the curve and now physically and financially I'm in the best shape of my life... which isn't saying too much... at age 60 !!!. You might not blame me for thinking that I did pass on after all and I'm in the afterlife.

    I guess that it's for all these reasons that I ended up "reinstating" my membership to the forum. What with the once dreaded "mythical"(??) five year moratorium on the horizon ( and no longer a concern)and me actually feeling as tranquil and at peace with myself and not all paranoid about the world than I have in arguably decades, I figured it was time to stick my head out of my hole and poke around a bit. I really don't think I'll be in the forum all that much as I've mentioned in a previous post that my interest in the paranormal has pretty much plummeted…not vanished...but my head is just on a different level I guess.
     
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  10. pigfarmer

    pigfarmer tall, thin, irritable

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    Good God man. This is 2021 and nothing is actually your own fault anymore :)

    You pulled yourself up by your own bootstraps. Faith can play a role and please pardon the awkward analogy, but the business about the single set of footprints in the sand being when Jesus was carrying you ..... well to be polite I'm not having any of that. You did this, period, when you could have easily lapsed into self pity. At least you're still here to tell us. That coworker I mentioned is also, but let's just say he's gone vegan. Too late for him to make any changes.

    Yes they most certainly can. This year I had a very, very close lifelong friend and contemporary pass away unexpectedly. He was morbidly obese and could never acknowledge the fact; his self image and the real one were irreconcilable. Also a heavy smoker for decades. He wasted the last 20 years of his life with a maddening laundry list of endless complaints, medical visits, tests, you name it that were blatantly obviously related to being 200+ lbs overweight. Obvious to everyone but him. He wanted to do whatever the hell he wanted to do and then have a doctor fix it - like a body shop. I just deleted a longer rant I went on - suffice to say he was incapable of doing one single thing to improve his quality of life and to the very end doubled down on his bad habits. He was 59. This because one day, something suddenly changed for the (much) worse and all the rationalization and denial in the world wouldn't let him skate on that one.

    Keep at it man, your story is motivating.
     
    Last edited: Oct 17, 2021
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  11. nivek

    nivek As Above So Below

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    Meh, there's plenty other things to discuss as well, since I've been working full time again I've not discussed much paranormal stuff, been more grounded lately...Its great to see you around again, sounds like you've been taking good care of yourself too...Good stuff...

    ...
     
  12. SOUL-DRIFTER

    SOUL-DRIFTER Life Long Researcher

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    1,820
    Welcome back and welcome to the 60s crowd.
    Sounds like you took the bull by the horns and have took your health into control...as much as you can.
    Good for you. Stay on track and it should continue to improve.
    My activity on the forum has gone down considerably as well...other things going on including a declining health of the wife...and interests have declined as well.
    After almost 15 years and tens of thousands of posts...what else can one say.
    Hang in there we will always be here for you.

    Stay well
     

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