I hope that it will put things more in perspective... Just to fill you all in (some may remember me from the paracast forum a few years ago) but it will be five years come December 8th I had suffered a massive cerebral hemorrhage (brain bleed) and to say that it hasn't been easy being me would be a large understatement. I was here in this forum briefly a few years ago but had to bow out because I was having trouble readjusting back to life and society in general. Physically, I'm a lot better but still have a long ways to go. This coming Halloween I'll hit the big 6-Oh and in December as I previously mentioned it will be five years since I almost left this world so I figured I thought I would get back in the game again. My interest in anything paranormal in nature has had to take a back seat to other concerns and thus has really taken a nose dive tbh, I have had my hands full to say the least. As of spring 2020 I found myself back in Los Angeles which has been my home since 1980. I grabbed onto a brand f***ing new subsidized apartment so the compact as of this date has 28 1/2 years left. My stroke scale was 27 out of a possible worst scale of 42 so that may give you an idea of some of the challenges I have had to face, I was completely paralyzed on the right side of my body, and although I am hobbling around now I still have no use of my right arm and hand and I have lots of problems with spasticity and clonus. I'm still on disability and given that I will be 60 in a couple of weeks and any jobs available out there will not be suitable for an old fart such as I, even if I get myself patched up I will likely be on disability for the duration. Of course I guess I could snag a gig labor position I now have a big issue with my balance and vertigo and at times i will get overwhelmed if I go out for a bite to eat by all the "information"(?) that comes streaming into me ( sirens, horns, construction work etc. ) and I will then high tail it back to my apartment and cocoon for the rest of the day. All in all I'm not going to lie to you, it's been rough physically, emotionally and mentally. The latter two aspects especially and on that note I can't decide which one has kicked my ass the most but I will come out on top of all this, but it is a lot to handle. You have to really take the bull by the horns, it's a constant battle of readjustments and getting past the readjusting is just step one in a multilayered process. As far as posting I try to get my interest up in paranormal phenomena but I don't think I can, it just isn't there any longer, it's been superseded by shall we say more relevant issues. One of more interesting things to deal with is that with five games into the season and this finally looks it could be the season for the Buffalo Bills and I find I really don't care anymore, all the past years of anticipation have been shot to hell because even though they may be in the big game this season I've got bigger fish to fry, I've got to get Wade 2.0 on track.