You must be having an interesting day with this on your mind, but I can relate. Hope you're not sitting there listening to too much
Pink Floyd.
My wife and I have had quite a number of existential conversations lately because I think my interest in life after death, communication with the discarnate and reincarnation is rubbing off on her. We've been through quite a lot losing family and friends in just these past few years, some very recently so it's a current topic for us. Apart from family, in the past six years I've lost seven former coworkers all between age 57-64. Some were close friends, we all knew each other for decades and went through the trenches together. Disturbing but probably statistically normal.
I can't say I have a particular date in mind but have a sense, have had it for some time, that I just won't live that long. Extreme old age is not in the cards for me. Oddly enough that isn't connected with the loss of coworkers but having just turned 59 I couldn't honestly say I haven't thought about it. But, I also get the feeling that there's
much more to death than just fading to black and that it's a natural process. One that may not be perfect.
Bad choices are relative, sometimes the passage of time brings a new perspective. What I used to cringe thinking about looks very different to me now and yet the only change has been the years between. There is value in getting to that point, for me anyway. I'm not sure that when it comes to Life, the Universe and Everything that there really is a wrong answer, we're here for the experience.
Now, having gone off the deep end I must say something crude. Go smoke a fat one, whack off and fix yourself a nice sandwich. You'll feel better