Shadowprophet
Truthiness
For literal years, I've struggled with mental issues. I've fought it,
But, I constantly fight between two primary personalities, One is an agreeable ned Flanders sort,
The other is a monstrous domination aggressive win at any cost asshole.
I am neither of these people, I keep telling everyone, I'me leaving for their sake. But it's,
I can't find a middle ground, I can't just be me. I'm extreme in either personality.
When I am the agreeable person, I am so positive, It makes me sick, It makes others sick to view it. When I am the asshole, It makes me sick because inside, I don't mean to make people feel like that.
I close myself off from the world, I am already a hermit that doesn't deal with people, I almost never leave my home. But, As I have mentioned, Things are getting worse.
No longer is this something I am able to fight or control, My mind is getting worse. Other people could say, Well, come back when you are better. That's just it', I'm getting worse, Not better. My thing is, It's not just because I respect other people and don't want to offend them, But that is part of it. It hurts me too, having to lie and cover for myself when I say something that was clearing wrong or offensive and then having to lie about it or make a cover story on Why I defend that position. when that position was a sporadic personality regurgitation that I honestly have no desire to defend myself or my thoughts because I know better than anyone, Nothing I think matters and it's not worth defending because in literally ten minutes I will have changed my feelings about it.
I respect and to some degree care about everyone here. But, The sad truth is, I ultimately I am losing my mind, legitimately. And it comes to a point that I know you guys are willing to forgive me, But at this same time it's embarrassing for me, It's time to fade away.
But, I constantly fight between two primary personalities, One is an agreeable ned Flanders sort,
The other is a monstrous domination aggressive win at any cost asshole.
I am neither of these people, I keep telling everyone, I'me leaving for their sake. But it's,
I can't find a middle ground, I can't just be me. I'm extreme in either personality.
When I am the agreeable person, I am so positive, It makes me sick, It makes others sick to view it. When I am the asshole, It makes me sick because inside, I don't mean to make people feel like that.
I close myself off from the world, I am already a hermit that doesn't deal with people, I almost never leave my home. But, As I have mentioned, Things are getting worse.
No longer is this something I am able to fight or control, My mind is getting worse. Other people could say, Well, come back when you are better. That's just it', I'm getting worse, Not better. My thing is, It's not just because I respect other people and don't want to offend them, But that is part of it. It hurts me too, having to lie and cover for myself when I say something that was clearing wrong or offensive and then having to lie about it or make a cover story on Why I defend that position. when that position was a sporadic personality regurgitation that I honestly have no desire to defend myself or my thoughts because I know better than anyone, Nothing I think matters and it's not worth defending because in literally ten minutes I will have changed my feelings about it.
I respect and to some degree care about everyone here. But, The sad truth is, I ultimately I am losing my mind, legitimately. And it comes to a point that I know you guys are willing to forgive me, But at this same time it's embarrassing for me, It's time to fade away.