Shadowprophet
Truthiness
People don't know the real me, The person I keep locked away.. I think about the social interactions I have with people, And I realize, Everyone is really the same, We have our groupings our circles, We could all think to ourselves, Who are the most studied people here At AE? Who are the most well known? Who is A legitimate Researcher? Who is a pretender just trying to fit in? Ten dollars says I rank somewhere on every one of those lists. "For most people here" That's to assume you analytically began making a list for jollies while reaching this point of conversation.
But Really, None of us really know any of the rest of us. It's truly just Social interaction that equates to little more than grouping off and creating subcultures in the broader spectrum. I think back to all the time's people have told me, Shadow, You have had a pretty unique and Strange life, With a lot of misfortune. And I hear their tones in their inflections, To almost whisper under the subcontext, "It's almost unbelievable" I Admit, When I reread some of my posts, If I was you, I would be tempted to call bullshit too, If I hadn't had those things happen to me IRL. But. To be honest, I take true situations that I've experienced, I tell them in the most engaging way I can share them, With no untruth, only a spicy vocabulary and a knowledge of how to deliver information in way's that compel people to keep reading. I will tell you something about me now, Something I have never Said online, I've told my wife this story, Maybe, One of my Ex girlfriends know this, But I haven't shared this with maybe but two other people in my entire life.
I imagine that people see me as this basically good person, That tries a little too hard, Possibly to the point of annoying others at times, I imagine it to be something like If Ned Flanders was just a little dorkier or something. That's how I envision that people view me. Psychologically, That's a dead giveaway of a broken person you know?. Someone who can't even hold together a falsified image of themselves to present to others.
When I was eleven years old, My brother took me with him on a trip that did, in fact, change my life and the way I view people, It was late, we were searching for one of his friends, This friend had apparently stolen something from him and He was quite upset about the entire upset, He intended to find him, We waited in my brothers car on a little road that my brother knew this guy passed by every night. At this time at night, It was morning rather, It was about Televe twenty, And My brother saw his car, He Immediately pulled out behind him and followed him to his home, When he got out of the car, My brother attacked him, Remind you, This was at this guys house at his own lawn. Now, I'm eleven years old at this time, My brother has already been in prison at this point, I was no match for my brother, There was nothing I could do. But I watched as my brother continued to beat this man and then he held his head under the water of This, It was like one of those little Coy Ponds? You know, Like a tiny little pond with a few fish in it. As you can imagine, I was standing there Traumatized, I don't know how long his head was under the water. But my brother left him there, Face down in the water as we drove off and went back home and acted as if nothing had happened.
I never saw that guy again, I mean, Of course, they wouldn't associate anymore, But, Till this Day, I wonder If that Guy died. I think This is one of the Events that defined my early life, I've seen the worst in humanity and There isn't a lot about humanity that I find desirable, So I hermitize myself. I make this little bubble and nothing gets inside the bubble, I live in a little Fake world I've created, Where things that don't fit into my world, Simply don't exist.
It's not Healthy, But, I could change everything up and Become a different person, and that still wouldn't make me "Mentally Healthy" Sometimes, People are just damaged, There isn't a simple fix, People are just who they are. And I'm thankful for those people who tolerate me, Because, I know a lot of people, and of them all, I'm the highest maintenance friend, someone could have.
~SP
But Really, None of us really know any of the rest of us. It's truly just Social interaction that equates to little more than grouping off and creating subcultures in the broader spectrum. I think back to all the time's people have told me, Shadow, You have had a pretty unique and Strange life, With a lot of misfortune. And I hear their tones in their inflections, To almost whisper under the subcontext, "It's almost unbelievable" I Admit, When I reread some of my posts, If I was you, I would be tempted to call bullshit too, If I hadn't had those things happen to me IRL. But. To be honest, I take true situations that I've experienced, I tell them in the most engaging way I can share them, With no untruth, only a spicy vocabulary and a knowledge of how to deliver information in way's that compel people to keep reading. I will tell you something about me now, Something I have never Said online, I've told my wife this story, Maybe, One of my Ex girlfriends know this, But I haven't shared this with maybe but two other people in my entire life.
I imagine that people see me as this basically good person, That tries a little too hard, Possibly to the point of annoying others at times, I imagine it to be something like If Ned Flanders was just a little dorkier or something. That's how I envision that people view me. Psychologically, That's a dead giveaway of a broken person you know?. Someone who can't even hold together a falsified image of themselves to present to others.
When I was eleven years old, My brother took me with him on a trip that did, in fact, change my life and the way I view people, It was late, we were searching for one of his friends, This friend had apparently stolen something from him and He was quite upset about the entire upset, He intended to find him, We waited in my brothers car on a little road that my brother knew this guy passed by every night. At this time at night, It was morning rather, It was about Televe twenty, And My brother saw his car, He Immediately pulled out behind him and followed him to his home, When he got out of the car, My brother attacked him, Remind you, This was at this guys house at his own lawn. Now, I'm eleven years old at this time, My brother has already been in prison at this point, I was no match for my brother, There was nothing I could do. But I watched as my brother continued to beat this man and then he held his head under the water of This, It was like one of those little Coy Ponds? You know, Like a tiny little pond with a few fish in it. As you can imagine, I was standing there Traumatized, I don't know how long his head was under the water. But my brother left him there, Face down in the water as we drove off and went back home and acted as if nothing had happened.
I never saw that guy again, I mean, Of course, they wouldn't associate anymore, But, Till this Day, I wonder If that Guy died. I think This is one of the Events that defined my early life, I've seen the worst in humanity and There isn't a lot about humanity that I find desirable, So I hermitize myself. I make this little bubble and nothing gets inside the bubble, I live in a little Fake world I've created, Where things that don't fit into my world, Simply don't exist.
It's not Healthy, But, I could change everything up and Become a different person, and that still wouldn't make me "Mentally Healthy" Sometimes, People are just damaged, There isn't a simple fix, People are just who they are. And I'm thankful for those people who tolerate me, Because, I know a lot of people, and of them all, I'm the highest maintenance friend, someone could have.
~SP
