You want real shit? This is real shit.

Discussion in 'Social Place' started by Shadowprophet, Jul 23, 2020.

  1. Shadowprophet

    Shadowprophet Truthiness

    Messages:
    3,719
    This is the social place Right? Well, I'm going to get social for a moment here. Here is the thing., I Spent most of my life abstaining from Alcohol, precisely the reason is. Circumstance. See. My uncle, Decades ago. had this accident, He was in a wreck, The guy next to him was a kind of tall man, So, When the car flipped.

    The man broke his neck see. And he died. So my uncle went to prison for like I don't know. Most of my childhood. My uncle finally got out of prison, but I will never forget. My grandfather, Fell on his knees in front of us, And he prayed for me and my brother., I will never forget, tears in his eyes. On his literal knees in front of us. I was four my brother was eleven. My grandpa prayed, That we would never drink, That drinking was the root of all sin and that God would spare us from such a fate as what my uncle was going through.

    So, For most of my life, I never drank, There are other reasons that I didn't drink. There was Bobbie jo, Now you guys wouldn't know about Bobbie jo. But look. Some people, They just have these things.. I can't explain it. I knew Bobbie jo since kindergarten, She always liked me, Her parents and my parents were friends, She would always Hug on me, all the time and the teachers and my parents always thought it was so cute. Well, Later in life we had relationships, And those never really last, No relationships ever truly last forever, because everything with a beginning, Well., It has an end, You know?

    But, Me and Bobbie jo., We stayed close our whole lives, We depended on each other, She, and I maintained sexual relationships pretty much, our entire lives, My first wife and her first husband, Well there was me and Bobbie jo, She would always find a reason to be in my life, And I would always find a reason to be in her's Weather we claimed to be friends from childhood or whatever, We found ways to always be together.

    one night, in my early twenties, I got really Drunk., I began doing what is colloquially called, a "Crying Drunk" See, I lost Two daughters, I don't want to talk about that,... it's something that always hurts and never goes away.. Time doesn't change when part of who you are is gone.


    But, one night, I got so drunk that I just began crying., You see. Some of you, Well you have children. I Had two kids. I lost them in a car accident, And I know, Everyone want's A Happy ending. Well, My first wife was an ignorant low IQ borderline slut. And she got in a car accident, Where my Daughters died. No, If you are wondering. I don't forgive her. I don't care that it was an accident. That was my daughters. Fuck her, forever. So Anyway one night, I got really drunk at a party., And I just lost it, I told my wife I wanted a Divorce, That she killed my Daughters, Because she was such a worthless piece of shit, And I wanted A divorce.

    and you know what? I know how hardcore I sound right now. I don't care, Hate me, Fuck that cunt, She killed my daughters. So, Bobbie joe begged me to never drink again. And So., for years, I never drank again. And do you know why? It was because I actually loved Bobbie joe...

    But, Life has a funny way of taking everything important away from you, you know? Bobbie Jo Five years ago today, Had a heart attack and suddenly died.

    Everything I have ever truly loved in this world has been taken away. Do you think that have not experienced loss or pain?

    I know what it's like to lose a part of yourself that you can never have back. I tell you this. People will Judge me, As an asshole, As a drunk, As a pothead. But, When I drink, I can actually get a good night's sleep.

    How much are a good nights sleep truly worth, To wake up in the morning feeling rested? You see, I have lost everything and I live only on promises I have made to people I loved.

    So, I've Failed, I've Failed At who I promised I could be. But people will read this, And they will see it as Sad. But This isn't sad. This is just Truth. These are things I have struggled against and overcome, I come to you, as a happy person who spreads love and joy as much as possible to others, not in spite of circumstances, But because I've learned how to overcome those stumbling blocks and become stronger.


    That's why this story ends on a high note. And that note is,

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    This stuff here Can make good night's sleep happen. And I don't care about people's judgments, And the reason why is, No one has walked in my shoes. no one has had to find reasons to go on When there really isn't one. The things in this world, That I truly loved have already left this world because it wasn't good enough for them. A good night's sleep is a precious thing. A thing a lot of people take for granted.
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2020
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  2. michael59

    michael59 Celestial

    Messages:
    1,397
    Yeah, it's the one one thing I will never stop chasing. A good nights sleep. :)

    I don't drink. I don't like it. I may even be allergic cause...:Sick:

    I do smoke pot. I buy SUNSET INDICA Whole Flower Cannabis. It has the highest THC level that you can purchase legally in the store at 23%. I am a seasoned smoker, Shadowprofit. I've been at it since age 12.

    Since I quit smoking cigarettes, it is really difficult to inhale anything. I guess it can take up to 2 years for your lungs to recover/heal from tobacco. So, I can only take one small puff at a time and then wait until the sensation in my throat and lungs fades before attempting another puff. Usually about 20 minutes,. If I don't wait, I cough until my eyes tear and I can no longer breath. It's awful and i only takes once or twice before you learn.

    It has taken me 3 months to smoke an eighth of an oz. lol The really funny part is that I am getting just a fucking high off that tiny puff as I ever did smoking a whole joint by myself. I hate waste. Do you have any idea how much pot I must have wasted over the last 38 years if all it actually takes is a little pinch in a pipe and some top quality indica at 23%?

    Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr. q5

    I have a very difficult time sleeping. This stuff works like a charm.

    I got a bit brave because quitting smoking is honestly the toughest challenge I have ever had, self improvement wise. So, I wanted to see what else I could do and cut myself off every medicine I was taking except pot. That was 3 months ago. The only thing I am going to cave and start taking again, I think, I haven't really decided yet, is alergy meds. I am allergic to dust. I stopped using an inhaler years ago but, I have always counted on benedril or it's equivalent in generic. As for my back, hip and other joint pain, I can count of that little pinch of smoke to help take the edge off and I also have a MASOR®. It's an amazing machine but, it is very difficult to use on yourself. Ideally someone should masor you.

    If you live long enough, you will experience profound loss and feel that "I want to die." sadness. We all handle loss differently. Rarely, does a time go by when I have reminisced over one or more of my losses, that I haven't wanted to collapse to the floor and cry til I die. But, I don't because that would be too easy and I don't do too easy. There is no one on this planet tougher on me than me.

    I am truly sorry for your loss(es), {{{{{Shadowprofit}}}}}.

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  3. Shadowprophet

    Shadowprophet Truthiness

    Messages:
    3,719
    Thank you so much, :) I really appreciate it :). True to form, I woke up feeling pretty good today, I'm not sure if it was the schnapps, or just being real for a moment and getting everything out. But I feel Like I've slept for a week. When It comes to physical pain, I've not had just great loads of that, Not for extended amounts of time. I still haven't found a great way to deal with physical pain. I have a pinched nerve in my spine, It usually hurts more like an electrical shock in my back, And only when I sit for a really long time or sleep on it wrongly. It is getting worse, but, It's manageable right now. Someday, I'll have to go get it seen about. Benedryl is a medicine I've never been able to take, You wouldn't believe it, It does make me sleep, but it also makes Itch for some reason, I've never been able to find out why. When it comes to weed, For about the last year I've been smoking Vape carts. I know there was this Scare with some people messing up their lungs on those carts a year ago. But, They claim that has been addressed and I haven't heard anything about new cases of that. I know some people wouldn't want to smoke those carts because of that scare, But, I mean, Just breathing the Air in today's climate puts one at risk of getting sick. It's a hard world out there.

    When I do smoke the tubes, I smoke TKO carts,

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    Each box has ten Carts, Each cart lasts me about two weeks, With each hit being a profound buzz. It's hard to believe how strong these carts are getting. Each one is 93 to 98 % THC concentrate, Unfortunately, the only downside I've found about these Carts is, After a while, Bud/Herb really won't have much of an effect on you anymore. I don't really want to Quit Pot, But some Day, I would like too. Just on the principle that I have to smoke this really strong stuff that would incapacitate most people just to feel a buzz.
     
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  4. coubob

    coubob Celestial

    Messages:
    1,712
    Just acquired this and its cut down on how much i need to get high. bout a gram a week. Never had any problems sleepin as long as i can get my brain to slow down.Sorry for all ur troubles shadowprophet. i am not really suppose to drink cause of the depakote i take. Never really like it much. its been 27 years since i had a beer and almost a year since i had a bottle of jack or something. I might post some of the shit in my life thats crazy.
     

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    Last edited: Jul 23, 2020
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  5. coubob

    coubob Celestial

    Messages:
    1,712
    Guess the reason i never drank was cause of my dad, he was a mean crazy drunk, he punched me so hard i went threw a wall from a hallway into a bath, i was around 10. he had waterboarded me once. dont get me wrong he stopped drinking and i loved and trusted him with all my life, and i could easy talk about anything with him, and him with me. that is what i miss most. I often reflect back during my NDE at 8 years old, i was given 3 choices, 1: Go to Heaven 2: to go back as i was in my ol body and i would loose a parent later on in the near future. 3: To come back later a few years as a girl in the family. Choosing both 1 or 3 wouldve let both my parents live out a long life. My father died in 91, ya think i chose wrong, i do. Now after doing research i think he mightve been a SK, thats what im freaked out about if my hunch is right. shits gonna hit the fan soon if they ever annonce a certain dna/geneology result and it who i think it is. i defiantly chose wrong, so i said it.jeez
     
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2020
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  6. Shadowprophet

    Shadowprophet Truthiness

    Messages:
    3,719
    This post here, It, got to me bro, See, My Dad, I only remember bits and pieces. apparently, When I was really little, I was a very annoying kid. I remember My dad grabbing me by the arm and slinging me into a wall and breaking my arm.

    I remember a really bad fight my dad had with my mom right before she took me to the hospital, He threw Scolding hot coffee in my mom's face.

    I know he was drunk at the time, But He never drank again after that, and I'm 43 now, He has been a top-notch Dad, he's been there for me through everything., He's changed completely, and he never went back to drinking after that day.

    But I remember it. It's hard to hold ill feelings against my dad at this point. That was the last time he ever hurt me and he never failed to be the perfect dad ever since that day. Life is difficult and sometimes people make mistakes that end up hurting others. I can promise, A mistake made in the heat of the moment can change the dynamic of everything forever. I guess, one of the most profound lessons I ever learned in my life is. The Idea Children have about what Adults are, isn't really true. Kids think adults are these perfect beings who have all the answers and never make mistakes. But sometimes people do.

    I'm sure brother, he spent the rest of his life feeling terrible for punching you, bro. But yeah, I think, If the veil of Truth was truly lifted and everyone could see reality unfold as it really happened. We would soon realize, Everyone has made mistakes, and everyone has been on the receiving end of someone else mistakes at one point or another brother.
     
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  7. coubob

    coubob Celestial

    Messages:
    1,712
    Thanks that means alot. after that time he changed and was the coolest dad, all my friends loved him and trusted him more their own parents, did anything for anyone, always thinking of other before himself. His mistakes dont matter to me and wont change my love for him. For me theres nothing to forgive him for, he made it possible for me to live a somewhat normal life ( with grandbaby 3 on the way)
     
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