I just posted this on Facebook I hope you don't mind if I post it here
Well it's been now been 1 week since I've been on my own and I am very very happy with the results. It hasn't been all polkadots and moonbeams nor will it, but I am aware that I've been almost in a cocoon of sorts where I was waited on hand & foot and that's come to an end and I acknowledge that real life is now the guiding force in my life. The thing is, I've been down this path before and I like to think that i handled it pretty good the first time before I took that slight detour a little over two years ago.
I gotta brag ( of sorts) but i'm just pleased as punch that ...and I've heard this from about 5 people so far...there are a little taken aback at how mellow and analytical I am having survived at such a big ass stroke , It's very refreshing for them to be with someone that is in that mind. That has kinda always been me so that tells me that I've found my old groove. It is soooooooo comforting to be aware of that.
As I alluded to I still have a ways to go. There's a lot of clerical work that I got to do. My leg, well that's humming right along, my arm well that's a different matter. It's an arm in appearance, but that's about it. It doesn't want to act like an arm. I'm hoping that I will be starting physical therapy and occupational therapy before the winter here is finished & with a different provider/service. I needed a change of scenery as far as that goes.
I have been thinking about this though, it could be that this is as far as it'll go. It's hard for me to believe that, because there's nothing wrong structurally with the arm, it just doesn't have that signal from the brain to act like an arm. But if this was the end of the road with it I really think I'd be okay with it ultimately. I think in the long run it's a small price to pay in having lost use of the arm but at the same time having full use ( I guess) of my mental faculties. I'm fully aware of the condition of aphasia and the various levels it can reside in. I think how I mentioned before how initially, my therapists were a little concerned about this and had me go see a therapist and ultimately after seeing the speech therapist about this she discharged me after one session. I think there were signs that I did have some impairment with aphasia but I think I kinda blew past it, that it was self-correcting. I read in my Facebook groups of the people who seem to be struggling with this condition ( but it isn't alluded to or specified ) and my heart goes out to them.
Even in transcribing this I can spot my errors, especially in using words such as and, but, if,etc. and make the necessary corrections. My bigger fault comes in rushing things, like jotting off an email and instead of my taking my time, rip one off and then taking time to proofreading it after it was sent, and I have to ask myself “Where was the logic in that, Wade”???
But all in all I've got my mojo back and sense of humor back (debatable) and I'm not going to let go of either of them. Peace Out.
Wade