OK, so the birthday boy wants to go to the burger and ice cream shack with the wifey to gorge ourselves on deliciousness.
It’s much too hot and humid and unpleasant to take an old car so we went over in my truck. I was just starving and, truth be told, could stand to gain a few pounds. So we went and ordered a feast.
The very young and sweet girl at the tiny window through which I couldn’t possibly hear or understand anything had apparently never before heard of an onion. Point is, Mrs. Pf wanted sautéed onions (on the menu) and didn’t get them. Somehow I supposed they were making a whole new burger for her and there was a slight delay.
So. I’m sitting at the picnic table mildly buzzed looking at my order plus that burger that isn’t right waiting on Mrs.Pf. After a minute or three I decided, what the hell it’s just an extra that’ll be wasted so why not? Munch, ruminate. Second munch munch. Hmm. Not bad.
Then my wife comes over carrying a basket of sautéed onions. Just the onions. I’m sort of burping wiping crumbs and ketchup off my face and she finds half her burger gone. And Was Not Amused and Did Not Want Another. Ohhhhhh shit.
For those married folks amongst us, this is one of those moments where you find yourself deep in the kimchee. Anybody remember old Stormin’ Norman’s classic ‘you ever been in a minefield ? press conference ? Yeah, it’s exactly like that.
However, we had a good laugh over it five minutes later. Rough five goddamned minute though ………. say nothing…. no quick movements……hands visible above the table …. cue the Sergio Leone soundtrack …….